December 3rd, 2010

  • chipie

sex help: non-intercourse suggestions


I posted this on sextips but apparently it has to get approved so I figured I'd ask here also while I'm at it.  This is sex advice so I can delete it if needed but since my sex issues were caused by vagina issues I thought it would be fine.

So, my boyfriend and I have been having some sex issues.  Most of these issues are mine, you'll notice:
- I got pregnant about a year ago (depite having an IUD in).  This was 4 months after I first started having intercourse (although I'd been sexuallly active for years) and I am super paranoid now.
- My new birth control (hormonal IUD) is giving me yeast infections every time I have intercourse.
- Intercourse is always painful for me.
- Lube doesn't help because it gives me more yeast infections.  People here suggested coconut oil which I've been using but it hasn't been ideal.
- My sex drive is super low.  (It has always been: I never masturbated until I started being sexually active, and then I only did because I was curious.  I never masturbate because I'm horny, just to help me fall asleep.  I never really feel like having sex, but when I get started it's fine.)
- We can't figure out how to use condoms.  (He's uncircumcised and his foreskin creates a ridge that we can't get to condom over, unless fingers are dug into his penis.  I know this sounds ridiculous but it's true.)

I am going to see someone about the intercourse pain, but it'll take a while to get anywhere.  (I have a pap test scheduled in a few weeks, and if they refer me to a gynecologist it'll take a few months.)

At this point I'm thinking of getting off birth control and giving up on intercourse altogether.  But our sex life will still need a boost somehow.  I was thinking it would be nice to get a book of foreplay ideas (because we'd be avoiding intercourse) and we could follow a new suggestion every time we have sex.  I think this would help us talk about sex more and give us ideas.  I always enjoy sex more when it involves new things but I have no sex drive therefore never think of sex and never have ideas.

Does anyone know of such a book?  Do you have any other suggestions that could help our sex life?


discussing intimacy

This is more of a sex/relationship question, but I'm hoping you all can help

My boyfriend doesn't initiate sex/sexual contact [not even kisses really] and I hate being the one that always has to do it.  I'd like it to be a mutual thing.  My first question is what would be the best way to broach the topic without sounding like I'm attacking him?

My second question is more about emotions-- When we first started dating he'd always make the first move [I was just a shy "virgin" back then, haha] which makes me feel that something has changed to make him want me less.  How does one go about reconciling the feelings of being unwanted/undesirable?  It probably sounds lame but just typing this out has made me feel as though I'm going to cry.
  • fl0e

Bloody woes..

Okay, so. I'm on the pill. I missed two pills last weekend because of familystuff, and as expected I got some crampage, but I was back on schedule, and have been. NORMALLY when I get my period, I am in pain for one day, maybe two, TOPS three. But I've been in on and off pain, all day, since Sunday. It's like, an uber heavy period. Is that normal? Has that happened to some ladies who mess up their pills? I've done it before, but usually what happens is a few hours of cramping, spotting, and it's done. At what point should I consider going to a doctor?

  • faedria

Abnormal period worries

I have always been very regular. I chart and I almost always start on day 27, like clockwork. This month I was 8 days late. I bled normally for a day and a half and now, on day 3, I have only very light pink spotting and mild cramps. This has never happened to me before in 10 years of menstruating and my head is full of all sorts of scary things.

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