October 28th, 2009


Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage

My question is about how long to wait after miscarriage before trying to conceive.

I recently had a miscarriage at 9 weeks.  It was a strange experience, as I realized that even though we had not been trying to conceive when I got pregnant, I had gotten used to the idea and now that I'd lost the pregnancy, I wanted to be pregnant again.  I know that I will probably feel less this way as I get used to the idea of not being pregnant again.

When I was looking online, most places suggested that I wait until I'd had my first period before trying to conceive again, to allow my body to heal and give a clearer idea of when I would be ovulating.  A few suggested waiting longer for my psychological welfare.  

I went to my doctor yesterday for my follow-up appointment, and he said I was doing good.  Then he offered to prescribe me birth control.  I said no.  Then he told me he wanted me to wait three months before trying to conceive again and suggested I use condoms or some other form of contraception.

Three months?  I was surprised at this, and didn't ask him why.  Does anyone know, are there any studies about this?  I mean, I'm sure that some of you have success stories about conceiving shortly after miscarriage, and others had bad experiences.  But what I really want to know is if my doctor is basing his recommendation on his professional knowledge about pregnancy based on research or if he thinks it's best for me based on personal experience or speculation.  Can someone point me toward something research-based here?

pill effectiveness/dosage and WTF spotting?!

im sure the answers to my questions are somewhere in the memories here, but im computerless right now and so i have to do all this from my phone, so its just able impossible to get through memories on the tiny 2x2 screen. SO...

basically, im on microgestin fe 1/20. and i, always, around the beginning of my second week in a new pack, get spotting that can sometimes be as heavy, and usually is as heavy, as a normal period for a few days. im on my fourth month of being on the pill. i take it at 11:45pm.

the spotting is annoying. and ive heard that taking it at night can sometimes be a cause of continuous spotting? anyone know about this?

also, is the fact that im spotting mean that my dose is too low, therefore not as effective?
this is what im mainly worried about.

i can deal with spotting if i have to. it never lasts more than a couple days.
i just want to make sure im taking a pill that is effective in protecting me and such.

im NOT really all that open to trying a different kind of birth control at this point in time. other than the spotting problem, this pill has worked WONDERS for my skin, body, and health in general. not to mention, its one of the only ones my insurance will cover the price of, other than patches and im not down to wear one of those.

any answers/advice/tips/whatever on anything ive mentioned would be GREAAAAAT.
thank you for being so awesome and helpful.

- kelsey!
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Very heavy flow, what should I do?

Hello VP, 
I know dealing with a period isn't exactly a walk in the park but I am really struggling with dealing with mine. My flow is very heavy and it does not soak into an overnight pad, most of it just stays on top and I have to whipe it off. I can feel when it comes out and it's very uncomfortable. My stomach is cosntantly upset when I am on my period. I haven't worn tampons in a long time and I'm afraid it would be a horrible idea if I tried... besides, they make my cramps 5x worse than they usually are. 
So, any ides on how to help the flow relax a bit? Maybe get my stomach to settle down? Is this something I should be worried about or should I just feel oh so lucky? Thanks in advance for any help/answers. 
pancake orgy

Constant bleeding and not on BC

Hi everyone,
I keep searching for help but I can't seem to find the right answer. Basically, I went from normal periods to frequent spotting about a year ago. I had some spotting when I started the Nuva Ring two years ago, but it went away and I skipped periods by leaving it in 4 weeks. I stopped taking the Nuva Ring because it was too costly and I mostly had normal periods except there was lots of spotting, especially during sex. So I decided to start using the Nuva Ring again, but this time the spotting never stopped so I gave up on using it again. I have not used birth control in six months out of frustration. To give an example, this month I have gotten two periods (on the 2nd and the 27th) with a few days spotting before each. That leaves me with only one and a half weeks without blood =/

I guess my question is, should I wait another 6 months to see if my cycle will straighten itself out? Or try taking a BC pill instead of the Nuva Ring?

Thanks so much for your help. None of my friends have this problem and it is really freaking me out. Plus my boyfriend cheated on me a couple months ago and I think it's in part because all the spotting made me too self-conscious to have sex anymore. I just really want my old life back.

Urine Infection

I am prone to urine infections. I used to get them every few months or so, get some antibiotics and all would be good.

But recently (last 6 weeks) I have had 3. Got antibiotics for the first one, about 2 weeks later got another one, and got rid of it by drinking loads of cranberry juice and water, because I don't want to be immune to effects of the antibiotics. This morning I woke up with another one, usually it is painless unless I go to the toilet, however for about 3 hours this morning I was in pain unless I was going to the toilet and now it is back to normal urine infection.

A friend recommended me to this community. Do you guys ... hmm girls ... have any tips on how to prevent them?

- I got to the toilet before and after sex.
- I now drink cranberry juice daily.
- I shower every other day.
- I live by myself, so no towel sharing etc.
- I change underwear everyday (like any good girl should)

Ack! My boobs are taking over the planet again!

Or at least, they are taking over my clothes.

Fun times: my boobs are growing again. I've been trying to ignore it for a few months going, "Maybe now that I'm off the pill, maybe now that I don't have my IUD, maybe now they'll stop."

Yeah. They have not stopped. I need new bras, and it's gotten to the point where I more or less need them now, as my current ones are seven kinds of painful. (Well, okay, four kinds of painful: the outside ends and inside ends of each underwire.)

I really cannot afford to be replenishing my entire stock of bras right now, at least not at standard prices. I realize that good bras are investment pieces and that good quality can cost money, but that's only so helpful when I don't actually have the money to spend.

If I were sure of my size (my first best guess is 30FF/32F depending on whether the band runs tight, but I may actually be a 30G/32FF), I'd go the Ebay route since $20-$40 for a bra there is usually doable. However, since I'm not really sure what's going to fit, I need to buy from someplace where I can do returns and exchanges -- but still pay less than $50 + shipping for the bra in the first place. I can't actually go anywhere in my city to be fitted, either; there was exactly one place in town that understood that size 30F existed, but they didn't stock 30s in any larger cup sizes.

I scrolled through Figleaves. This one and this one, both from Pour Moi?, are in my price range and have received relatively favorable reviews. Has anyone ever worn one of these, or do you know anything more specific about them? (Not that I distrust user reviews on Figleaves, but I trust user reviews from LJers I know to be knowledgeable even more.) Or any similarly priced bras of good quality available in those sizes?


Cross posted to thirty_twod and vaginapagina.

Male Recovery Time

Hey VP SuperStars,

I checked the archives but couldnt find exactly what I was looking for.

I'm curious about men and their "recovery time" after sex. My boyfriend and I dont have any issues with him not lasting long enough or anything but I feel like it takes him a long time to recover. It takes 12-18 hours until we can go again. I'm his first partner I dont know if that matters. Also we don't really talk too candidly about mastrabation, but it came up in context the other day. I mentioned that a certain hand lotion I had would probably make a good lube for "self sexy time" and he looked confused, saying "why do I need that if I've got you?" I'd like to bring up the point to him that I dont care if he mastrabates, hell I dont even care if he does it in front of me.I'll get around to telling him that in the right context.  I'm wondering that if he doesnt actually mastrabate like he says he doesnt, could this lead to a longer recovery time too?
Does more sex lead to a shorter recovery time? I know everyone is different... I'm just new with this whole thing so I figured I'd ask in a safe space like VP.

Thanks all in advance!
click click

White discharge?

Today I came home from school and had my morning pee, and as I pulled down my pants, I noticed there was a thick, cottage-cheesy sort of discharge on my underwear. I don't think it's a yeast infection though because I'm not itchy, or inflamed or anything else. Just the discharge and random cramps (but I think that's my impending period due in two days). Does anyone have any idea of what it could be?


 So I just want to know... is it weird to finger yourself? Like I've done it before and was talking to someone and they said it was different.. I just don't really know what's the 'norm' and what's not..... I just get into these times where I can't control  it and I masturbate and finger myself and that whole deal and just wanted to know if anyone else did this? or if it's just different?