eperson (eperson) wrote in vaginapagina,

I found my libido!

Sex was spectacular, last Saturday night. I don't want to say that a fight replenished my lack of sex drive but it was the catalyst. Getting mad and letting it out was like a reawakening of the senses. Mind you, we don't have knock down, drag out, insult slinging fights. Nothing was said in anything higher than an inside voice. I got angry, let him know I was angry and then backed off for a day, so I could find a productive way to articulate how I was feeling without putting him on the defensive. By the time I was done, I felt like my house after what a call a whole house douching (basically I go through all the closets, junk drawers, cabinets and get rid of anything that's does nothing more than collecting dust). All the insecurities, questions, minor annoyances that have been building up were causing a disconnect, between us, and it morphed into feeling like I was nothing more than a life support system for a vagina.

It's not like he's mean or inconsiderate; he's actually very much the opposite. A lot of it is my fault because of my tendency to accomodate. It's not even just him, it's the kids too. I go out of my way to make sure everyone has what they need, then it becomes what they want, too, but the more I accomodate, the more they expect me to accomodate. He comes home from work and needs time to decompress; everyone does. It started to become more of a full night experience for him. He hangs out with me, while I make dinner and then retires to the computer, after dinner, and that's where he stayed until bed time. The kids retire to their interests after dinner and I am left wandering the house looking for conversation with someone, anyone. I was starting to feel completely invisible.

It ended nicely, I didn't demand that he give up the computer, every night. I don't want the mood of the house to be centered around my whims but sometimes it's just nice to feel more important than the laundry and dinner. I don't expect this to effortlessly last forever. Routine, habits, they happen. We just have to work harder at keeping it saucy.

Anyway, there have been a lot of complaints of lost libido, when I was last here. Hopefully, someone else can get something out of this.
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