mammatus (mammatus) wrote in vaginapagina,

Bump? And dealing with feelings of regret

So, I have a mysterious red bump on my vulva, and I am really worried that it's herpes. I am planning on going to Planned Parenthood tomorrow to have it checked out, but in the meantime I am driving myself crazy thinking about it. I have photos here:

The album password is vaginapagina.

The reason I'm concerned is because I've had some sexual contact with a new partner over the past 3 weeks. I was unsure of my feelings toward him and did not want to have oral sex, but I did not communicate this clearly and he licked my clitoris for a few seconds before I stopped him. His penis also rubbed against my vulva once briefly, and it is likely that at some point he touched me after touching his penis (too much going on to keep track of these things). I am generally very cognizant of how easily HPV and HSV can be transmitted during skin-to-skin contact so I tried to avoid it since I didn't anticipate dating this guy or anything long-term, but there were still these few instances.

We were both tested before doing anything, but I didn't ask if his testing included HSV blood tests - I assume it didn't since I know they're not part of standard screening. I was blood tested for both types of HSV about a month ago with negative results. I did not notice any sores on his lips or genitals, but I admittedly was not looking for them.

I noticed the bump about a week and a half ago when trimming the hair down there. It doesn't bother me unless I'm in a position where it is rubbing against something, which is rare. I picked at it some, which I know was a bad idea, but I initially thought it was an in-grown hair, as I've had those in the past and it looked similar. I've had a very slight, vague burning sensation throughout my labia for the past week, and also, I felt very fever-ish for 3 days this past weekend.

Here are my questions:
-How likely is it that this is herpes?

-Do you think PP will swab the bump even though it's been there for over a week and is healing now? If a culture is done and it comes back negative, which it likely will at this point even if it is herpes(?), should I err on the side of caution and inform any new partners I have over the next few months about this incident? As I understand it, antibodies may not show up in blood tests for a few months, meaning I might have to stress about potentially having herpes for a while... ?! :(

-I don't think I would feel so distraught about this if it had occurred with a different partner. I initially began fooling around with him because I found him attractive and thought 'why not?' - I am usually so cautious about things but have been feeling bored after being single for the greater part of the last 2 years. Herpes worries aside, I realized that fooling around when neither person has feelings for the other is not for me. It made me feel gross and used and not cared about. The prospect of potentially having herpes now from a brief encounter that was SO not worthwhile really stings emotionally. Any advice for dealing with these feelings?

Thanks for any and all help you can provide. I tend to get anxious about these things and need to talk about them with other people to feel better. Phew.
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