jarethrake (jarethrake) wrote in vaginapagina,

HPV, BV, and My Relationship

I was recently diagnosed with HPV - ie, genital warts - and bacterial vaginosis, which the gyno told me is an imbalance of bacteria in the vagina, and the cause of my uncomfortable abdominal twinges and so on.:(  I have medicine for the latter, which I'm starting on Monday, since it reacts extremely badly with alcohol, and I'm attending my boyfriend's brother's fiancée's birthday party tomorrow.  First time I'll meet his family - such excellent timing.  I also have a cream to get rid of the damn warts.

The HPV (I really prefer that term; although I do currently have genital warts, I don't like admitting to it, they sound as gross as they feel!) is highly contagious.  No matter how careful we are, there's a good chance that Anthony (the boyfriend) will get it, if he hasn't already, and if he didn't originally give it to me.  I feel awful about this.  It seems like this is now something I'm going to need to inform every sexual partner of beforehand, since there's not really any way to say for sure that the virus is gone, and you can pass it on without physical symptoms.  It's something that's going to affect every relationship I ever have in future, and I don't want to do that to him.  Of course, this only applies if we break up, but we're in our early twenties, and we've been dating since January; we may not be together forever.  It's far too early to say.

It sound awful, but the best case scenario for me is if he has it already.  It means we can just carry on exactly as before.  If he doesn't have it already, then it means we have to be careful, and start using condoms (I have a mirena) which may not effectively protect him.  Which means there's a good chance he'll get it, and knowing I could have prevented it will make me feel awful, even if he doesn't blame me.

And that's the other thing; he's totally cool about it.  This is the best relationship I've ever had, purely because he's so easy-going.  He doesn't go insane over a certain choice of phrasing, he's not jealous or controlling, he's not a pushover, he's...just wonderful.  My ex bordered on emotionally abusive, so I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it never does.  We just...treat each other well.  And that's quite a new thing for me.

I'm not sure of what the chances are, that Anthony gave the infection to me in the first place.  It was either him, or a close friend of mine, whom I had a one night stand with before Anthony and I were exclusive, back in January.  This friend has had HPV, but he'd been told it was totally clear, which is why he didn't think to mention it.  It lasted two minutes. 

Anthony's never been diagnosed with HPV, but he and I have had the same number of previous partners - twelve each - and I'm not sure how stringent he was about using protection for STDs, rather than just pregnancy prevention.

I feel quite bad for hoping that he already has it, but it would make life so much easier.:(

Any advice ladies?  On either infection, or how to handle the issues raised by them?
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