sorry for the long backstory but it's necessary:
Over the summer I had sex with my summer fling. We did it both with and without condoms. Every time we would have sex, my vagina would feel very uncomfortable the next day--sore and itching a little--and I thought this might be normal for something a little rough. (I have had sex before and never had more than a tiny bit of soreness, even when the sex was painful). Then 2-3 days later, after every time, I would be in AGONY itching and burning, and it just can't be only friction as a problem (especially because I was in no pain during the sex).
After this terrible experience I went to the doctor and I was tested for all STDs, HPV, (and also for HIV 6 months later). I was also tested for any bacterial infections and came up negative. But by that point (3 weeks later) the discomfort had gone away and the fling had ended, so I forgot about this problem. My gynecologist's response when I told her this problem was "maybe he was doing it wrong," which I found very funny at the time but it's not helping me now.
I was basically abstinent for a number of months (just didn't meet anyone) and then two weeks ago had sex with a new guy. We used a condom and it was a little rough, and I felt very uncomfortable the next day, burning and itching, and then just as before it got worse the next day and then went away after 3 or 4 days. Then that weekend I had sex with a different guy (i know, I know, don't judge) with a condom again, and it was extremely pleasurable, not rough at all, no pain at all, and then next day I was very uncomfortable, and the day after it was back to the itching and burning. It has now been 5 days later and I'm feeling totally 100% better.
This can't be just a problem with friction, because I know I have not always reacted to sex this way, and the itching and burning is too intense and unlike the slight discomfort I have felt before after having rough sex. It could absolutely be some type of infection that flares up when I have sex because of the invasion (?), but all my symptoms completely dissapear and the last time I was tested was about 4 weeks ago. If it was something I developed from the sex, I wouldn't expect it to go away within a few days as it has every time.
What do I do? I've read so many things about probiotics, maintaining PH balance with boric acid, etc. But many women use these methods to get rid of infections, and I honestly don't think I have one! I have had BV in the past and got rid of it with a clyndamycin cream, which I loved. I was tested before and after to make sure the infection had gone, and I didn't have it after the summer or 4 weeks ago.
I am literally afraid and reluctant to have sex and that is so terrible. It doesn't appear to be a problem with latex or semen as it happens with or without a condom, and I know I react badly to spermicide so I never use it. I was also on the birth control pill when I had this first experience over the summer, and am off it now, so I know it's not related to the pill.
Eta: I will try lube, BUT I have had bad dry sex before and my reaction was different: sore and swollen. This is not swollen at all...but I will try!
I will also try non-latex condoms...BUT I have had this problem both with and without condoms used on different days. I also have had no problems with latex condoms in the past 6 years (but I also had no problems with sex...)
What do I have? I'm not embarrassed to call my doctor--it's just the last time I did, she didn't have anything to diagnose. If you google itching/soreness after sex it leads to people who have developed all these problems, but my problem is an immediate reaction that disappears. I'm allergic to sex all of a sudden! Help!