helpmepleaze (helpmepleaze) wrote in vaginapagina,

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Pap smears, prior abuse, and vaginismus

I've posted here before, but it's been a while. I need some help, I'm seriously in a bind here. I don't know what to do.

I need to get my birth control refilled. I use it to lessen my awful, debilitating cramps every month- when not on the pill, I cannot function during that time of the month. The thing is, I'm studying abroad soon, leaving on May 8th- which means I only have thirteen days left to get enough of my meds to last the trip. This wouldn't be a problem if my BC didn't expire during that time, so I can't get it refilled.

I've had two Pap smears before, last one two years ago. Both came up totally clean. (I'm 24, btw.) But being a victim of abuse when I was young, and having severe vaginismus on top of that makes the experience a total horror. The last Pap smear I had, I begged the doctor to stop midway through, and she refused and continued on. I was screaming in pain, and by the time it was over I was dry-heaving and about to pass out from the pain, and the humiliation, and everything.

Last year my new doctor gave me a pass on it. He refilled my BC and just had me sign a form saying I refused the Pap smear. This time, he refused to do that, even after I explained my condition.

I cannot do it again. I can't even think about it without breaking down. I honestly think it would be better if I was put under anesthetic for it, and I would be willing to do it that way, but I don't know if that's even possible.

So, I have less than two weeks before I leave for China, and if I don't get this worked out I'll run out of BC two weeks into my trip and I honestly don't know what would happen if I went cold turkey under the stress of a foreign country, but I know it wouldn't be good. Please, help me. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I can't go through that again.
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