sakit_kepala (sakit_kepala) wrote in vaginapagina,

Resuming sex after vaginismus and childbirth

Some background: I posted here quite a while ago about having vaginismus. Eventually, I attended cognitive behavioural therapy, and this worked quite well for me. My husband and I had sex successfully several times, and I got pregnant :) Unfortunately, the pregnancy (and attendant nausea, joint pain, exhaustion, etc.) immediately killed my sex drive, so we didn't do much at all during those nine months. I gave birth in February; it was a ventouse delivery, which I think meant having an episiotomy -- anyway, I definitely had stitches. As far as I know they've healed well; there's still some achiness, mainly when I pee, but overall I'm recovering fine.

The problem: My husband and I are planning a night away (minus baby) for our anniversary next month. We would both really, really like to have sex, and it might be a while before we have another opportunity. But at the same time, I'm sort of terrified -- that the vaginismus will have come back, that my stitches will hurt after all, or just that I won't know what I'm doing. It's been nearly two years since we were regularly having sex, and I feel so out of practice that it's like starting from scratch. (Plus I'm pretty self-conscious about my appearance just now.)

So... what can I do to help alleviate some of these fears and feel a bit more confident and prepared?
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