doing__it (doing__it) wrote in vaginapagina,

getting over sti stigma

I recently found out that my live-in monogamous (now ex)partner of 2 years cheated on me with someone who was sleeping with other people at the time.

I have since developed what seemed to be UTI symptoms, so I went to a clinic. They confirmed that it was not a UTI, but there was blood present in my urine. The two likely culprits are chlamydia and gonorrhea, the third possibility being cystic something, I forget... but it's the former two I'm concerned about.

I've never had an STI before.

The results of those tests will be in within 24-48 hours, and I'm sort of freaking out.

I'm really struggling with this because I'm a staunch feminist, I am sex positive, I am all about de-stigmatizing STIs, and yet I am horribly embarrassed and feel "dirty", even though I had no way of knowing I was at risk. Not that anyone who gets an STI should feel dirty, of course.

I wouldn't be freaking out if I was waiting for the results of a strep throat test, and from what I know about chlamydia and gonorrhea, they are both treatable in a similar way. I know the reason I'm reacting this way is because we're taught that STIs are scary and horrible and having one makes you a bad/immoral person, because of often misogynistic negative ideas about sexuality.

I know this, and I still feel really scared.

Any advice/common experiences/encouragement?
Thank you!
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