For the VP Team
P.S. For more info on anonymous posts, see this link.
I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. As an adult I then spent many years in a controlling and at times abusive same sex relationship, where although sex was never explicitly forced, I often felt under pressure to have sex when my partner wanted it. It's fair (and indeed very sad) to say that sex has never really been something I have fully (I guess consciously) consented to, or enjoyed. And it's also fair to say that as a result I haven't really had a great relationship with my vulva.
I have done a lot of work in therapy processing both the childhood abuse and the later relationship, and am beginning to feel like I might be almost ready for another relationship. But before this happens, I think I need to be a little more comfortable with my physical body. For a long time I thought this meant being more comfortable with sex, but I have come to realise that enjoying my physicality does not have to mean sex. Indeed, one of the legacies of the sexual abuse I am trying to undo is the tendency to sexualise things that are not in fact sexual.
So what I would like to do is find ways to care for, treat and (I guess) heal my vulva, in a non-sexual way. You know, to build a new relationship with a part of my body that up until recently I have not really had much say over. And so I was hoping that this great community might have some lovely suggestions. I very much look forward to hearing them.