bethany_109 (bethany_109) wrote in vaginapagina,

when do you know you need a toy?

This is an entry I hoped I'd never have to post, but here goes.
My husband of 4 months has erectile dysfunction. He has it bad. And I have a high sex drive... or at least average. Waaay higher than his, anyway. This is an extremely painful situation. Neither of us has any past sexual experience. We saved ourselves for marriage. Sweet? Not really. Sorry if I offend anyone, but waiting is not something I would recommend to anyone who cares about sex.
After 4 months of bedroom despair, I've decided I deserve to have an orgasm. I'm 25. Most women are able to by that age.
Now the questions is: do I need a vibrator?
I have tried to get myself off without using anything. I've tried everything I can do on my own. The best I've gotten is a kind of out-of-body feeling with my heart pounding in my ears. If that's probably what they call a plateau.
I love PIV sex more than anything. I don't care much for foreplay, and clitoral stimulation is difficult and often hurts.
I have experienced pleasure from fingers, but they are the wrong shape, they have bones and nails... and hands just don't turn me on.
I'd probably be better off with a dildo or a vibrator.
I hate the idea. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of sex toys. However, this lack of sex is destroying our marriage and maybe a toy would help.
Any recommendations, or should I put on a disguise and go to an adult shop? Either idea terrifies me.
Thanks, VP.
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