maskedgladiator (maskedgladiator) wrote in vaginapagina,
maskedgladiator
maskedgladiator
vaginapagina

Obsessed with orgasm?

Hi, all! I haven't had anyone else I can talk to about this, so I'd love some perspective from you.

In the 6 months that I've been sexually active, I haven't achieved orgasm vaginally. I'm always capable of orgasming from clitoral stimulation, but when it comes to being penetrated, it doesn't happen for me, even though sex is awesomely enjoyable for me. This upsets my boyfriend, who thinks that I might have some psychological block against vaginal orgasm because clitoral orgasms have "broken" me. I love to be rubbed during sex, which he will sometimes do, but he recently told me that it's unfair and greedy of me because it requires him to do all the work, and has thus told me that I'm too obsessed with orgasming. I said that it's easy to have that attitude when one is able to orgasm almost 100% of the time (i.e. a man) and therefore probably doesn't know what it feels like to be frustrated, as I feel when I'm aroused and the tension isn't relieved. I thought that it was common for male partners to help their girlfriends achieve orgasm by touching them, licking them, etc., so I never realized it was selfish to want it. I feel very ashamed for being called selfish for just wanting to have what I know I'm capable of having, and having it done by the person I love and am attracted to. Is this something I should just take care of myself? Please give me some insight into this. Thank you so much for your wonderful advice!

Edit: I just had to let you all know how grateful I am for all your responses. I knew in my heart that this was an important issue to address, and your support has helped me to approach my boyfriend about this. At first, he told me that I was being too emotional and that there are bigger issues to worry about than this. He even told me that "well, your blowjobs aren't the best I've had, but I don't comment on your performance." I sent him your comments and he was overwhelmed that the general consensus is that his thinking is in the wrong. I'm hoping that he will take this into consideration and realize that this is not an issue of performance, but attitude. Your comments have helped me more than you know, and I feel much more empowered to stand up for my self-worth. Thank you! :)
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