Andrea (fushigi_na_chou) wrote in vaginapagina,

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Tips for "going for it"

Hello, vagpag, hope you're all doing well. Gotta say, I always love the encouragement, support, and advice I read in this community; you all are so wonderful.

So I've got a request for some advice. My boyfriend and I are sexually active with one another. He's the only partner I've ever had, but I'm not the only partner he's ever had. We've been together for five months now, and I'm wanting to be a little more take-charge in the bedroom department. He's had quite a bit of experience when it comes to that, and I'm always very satisfied, but I'm wanting to reciprocate. In my head, I'm really good at fantasizing about all the things I'd love to do to him/with him, but when it comes to putting these things into practice, I freeze up. I know part of the issue is that I overthink everything, and I'm overthinking in this area too, but I find that if I don't think at all, I still have no idea what to do. It doesn't help that his two favorite positions are somewhat .... not mine (girl on top and him entering me from behind). But part of these two positions not being my favorite is that I have no idea what to do. I don't know how I'm supposed to move, or even if I'm supposed to at all. Or if I'm on top and we're making out and things are leading to sex, I can tell he's waiting for me to do something, but I have no idea what that something is supposed to be. I don't know what I should be doing with my mouth, or my hands, or anything, so in the end I just end up sitting there staring at him expectantly. He's been very patient with me, and he's encouraged me to just do what feels natural, but nothing really does. To me, it all feels clumsy and awkward. I asked him yesterday, on a whim, if I could tie him up sometime, and he was agreeable to it, but then commented that I'd never actually do it. I agreed that he was probably right, actually, at least not for a while, and that was the end of that conversation. I read all these articles and things about positions and sex tips and what have you, and I always think "Yeah, that's a great idea, I should try it!" but when it comes down to me actually trying it, I feel silly.

Has anyone else every felt like this (I'm sure someone else has, it'll just be nice to hear it XD;)? What did you do to overcome it? Is part of the issue a communication issue? Should I be better at knowing what it is he likes or doesn't like by this point? What suggestions do you guys have for getting over this roadblock? Thanks in advance for all your help. :)
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