starry3yedgrl (starry3yedgrl) wrote in vaginapagina,

emotional pain

I've been having discomfort/pain during sex for about two years now.  The pain is at the very entrance of my vagina, and after sex it burns when I pee, as though there are cuts that the urine is burning.  I've been to several doctors, none of the suggestions they give helps.  At the time that the discomfort began my husband and I were having some issues, and he eventually moved out some months later so we could figure things out between us (we were not married yet at this time).  The first time we had sex after he moved out, it was amazing and I had no pain.  It had been suggested to me a few times that the pain was emotional, and that is the one reason I believed maybe it was, because that particular time we had sex was like the first time between us, we were both so into it, it's like our passion was renewed and I think my body just let go and actually enjoyed it.

The pain set back in not too long after and I've had it ever since.  I'm not sure if the continued pain has been from continuing issues (our issues are much much better) but I'm thinking since I am anticipating the pain, it still hurts.  In an attempt to see if the pain was emotional, we tried an experiment today after fooling around (our fooling around has had to be strictly oral and anal).  We both laid down together and he just touched me down there for a while, just around my clit and around my vaginal opening, but not actually at the spot.  This went on for a good 10 or 15 minutes until I was certain I was totally relaxed and then he fingered me for a few minutes.  I did not really feel any pain, and afterward when I used the bathroom it did not burn.

I'm trying not to get too excited, but I am certain even that little bit of action down there would have hurt before, so I am hopeful that we have found the issue and can work toward getting around it.  My question is, has anyone dealt with pain from emotional reasons, and how long did you have to ease back into sex before you were all better?  I want to take it slow, I don't even want to try PIV for a while, maybe just try some massages and more fingering and stuff, but when it enough enough?  I know I'll try to go by how I feel, I'm just afraid if we move too fast and there is pain, I'll get really discouraged.  Any advice is appreciated, we want to try for a baby soon, and I would like to be able to have sex with my husband and not be in pain.
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