I have my annual pap next month. The person I have been with for the last 2.5 years is my first partner, I have had two pap smears and three full STD tests since being with him. All of them came back completely unalarming and average. We are engaged. Neither of us have had any other partners since being together.
I'm pretty bummed out about having to get my pap because they're just not a fun experience, but oh well, I do fine with them. However, I do substantially less fine with the manual exam. I have never been sexually abused. I have a pretty healthy sexual outlook. They just seriously invade my comfort zone. I do have an anxiety attack during them, I do feel disgusted with myself afterward, I do not handle them very well. I have no reason to assume that I need a manual exam (no pain during sex, no bleeding after sex, no ovarian pain, etc.). How outrageous would it be for me to refuse that portion of the exam? I have to have the pap for my birth control, so I don't really want to refuse anything that is going to, in turn, make them refuse my birth control script, but I do like my doctor and would like to establish a healthy relationship with her, and for that to happen, I need to be able to refuse the manual exam.
Is this a fairly common request, or do you think they will be unreceptive? What should I say?