I'm 22, have had a Mirena inserted for about six months now. Before the insertion, my periods were like *clockwork.* They would come on the exact same day every month, at the exact same time of day, and always last the same amount of time (they were really long, and really, really heavy, which is the reason I got Mirena - I'd tried most other HBC methods, with not-so-nice results) Since the insertion, things have been going strangely - the first period after insertion was like mine normally were, but then after that it's been odd. I have had a couple last really long (My last one was 4 weeks, at the end of it, I had tapered off but still had to change pantiliners fairly often. I was going to see my doctor, but would have had to wait two months for an appointment, so I waited it out) and I've had a couple show up a bit late. I'm not sure if I'm having one right now, as there's been a teeny little bit of spotting, and a little bit of cramping, but it's not what I'd normally call a period (this one, if it is in fact a period, came eight days later than the normal date - but the last one only ended 1 day before it was due to start again, so I think that starting again right away would probably not be likely, right?)
My boyfriend and I are sexually active, but don't have PIV sex (I'm too paranoid, even with birth control) I give him handjobs/oral, and when I do I've always got jeans and underpants on, at the least. When I get semen on my hands, I always wash them thoroughly right away. It's occasionally gotten on my clothes, but in places like my upper arm, and once I got a little bit on my belt loop, and if it gets on my clothes I always put them in the wash right away, and make sure to wash my hands between touching wet spots and my bare skin. My boyfriend fingers me, but doesn't put his fingers inside (vaginal stimulation doesn't do much for me) and before he does that he always washes his hands thoroughly as well (to prevent bacterial ickiness) - and so far we've never had a day where we've given each other any kind of stimulation in the same day, so it's not like he's ever touched himself and then fingered me right after or anything.
In any case, I'm going through a bit of paranoia. I have read up on risks, and I *was* extremely comfortable with the sexual things that I am doing, but now one of my acquaintances has found out I don't get on so well with kids, so he keeps teasing me about potentially being pregnant ("I'm not hungry for lunch right now." "That's 'cause you're PREGGERS! AHAHAHAHA!") and it's making me nuts. I can't stop worrying, even though intellectually, I'm pretty sure that even if I didn't have an IUD pregnancy would be unlikely, right? And even if I were having condomless, non-pull-out PIV sex the IUD would pretty much nix any chances of pregnancy, right? So not having anything in my vagina + having an IUD should be like, super-ultra-plus effective, right? I'm naturally an anxious person (I think I may have an anxiety disorder, I'm pretty sure losing sleep over this isn't a usual reaction?), and lo and behold I got worried and went searching and it suddenly seems like everyone-and-their-mother has gotten pregnant with an IUD inserted/without ejaculation in the vagina/were pregnant even though they had their periods/etc.
I plan to buy a pregnancy test once it's been long enough since the last time we did anything for it to show (I have to wait about two weeks...two long weeks), but in the meantime, I could really do with some reassurance from rational, knowledgeable people.
-Please tell me it's really, truly horribly uncommon for people to get pregnant with an IUD inside them?
-And that period wonkiness is probably just the IUD doing it's thing?
-And that it's really unlikely for the IUD to have slipped out of place if I don't feel anything wrong when checking the strings?
-And that even without an IUD I probably wouldn't be pregnant?
Also, anyone have any advice for shutting down this person when they tease me? I've tried flatly saying, "That's not funny" and turning away, I've tried getting mad, I've tried ignoring them, and it's just not working. I'd avoid them altogether but there are certain situations where I can't. Normally I wouldn't care but the worry's making me ill.
If you read through all that, you deserve cupcakes. I can't deliver cupcakes over the internet, but I can say thanks :)