loveyoudontmean (loveyoudontmean) wrote in vaginapagina,
loveyoudontmean
loveyoudontmean
vaginapagina

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Refusing a breast exam?

Let me start off by saying I have severe Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

I started seeing a new gynecologist last year due to moving to a new town. I decided to be completely upfront about my BDD to her before the exam to explain my extreme self consciousness and was also hoping maybe she would be more sympathetic and understanding to my needs. Well, it turns out that she wasn't familiar at all with the disorder and actually looked it up on her Blackberry right in front of me :/ (Does this strike anyone else as unprofessional or am I being too sensitive?) She went on to ask me if it was like being a Hypochondriac which really offended me. I tried my best to explain to her, but I'm very shy and wasn't honest about how offended I was by her asking me that.

When it came time for the breast exam, I was extremely nervous to the point of shaking, but managed to hold it together for the most part. (I should mention that my breasts are one of my biggest BDD obsessions and having anyone look, let alone touch them can send me into a panic). When she was feeling my chest, she made a comment about how "it's normal for one of them to be bigger than the other." This was NOT what I needed to hear at this particular moment. I'm aware that it is normal, but that doesn't mean that I expected her to comment on them when I had never even asked her anything relating to it. I ended holding back tears for the whole rest of the exam.

This was over a year ago and I am still obsessing over her comment. I realize that everyone reading this is probably going to think I'm being over sensitive, but it took so much courage just for me to even go and be completely honest about my BDD to her and I left feeling even worse about my body than before. My yearly exam is tomorrow and I am terrified of going through this again. Is it possible for me to refuse the breast exam all together? I don't want to be seen as a difficult patient or anything, but I know myself and I cannot handle another repeat of last time.

I don't think seeing another doctor is much of an option for me due to my insurance. She is the only female doctor at this practice and I am really uncomfortable around men. Any help will be very much appreciated.

ETA: I see a lot of comments wondering about my age; I am 24 years old.
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