Ah yes, the ever-taboo topic of anal sex once again rears its ugly head. I will be the first to admit that on more than one occasion, I have been the girl who just abhors the idea of having my man want to go in through the back door. For the longest time, I didn't understand it. I think more than that, I didn't want to understand it. I thought it was gross, weird, and at times, I thought that maybe, just maybe, my boyfriend was fantasizing about something, or someone else... someone not female.
I'm not sure where this fear of anal sex stems from in women. I as a woman, do not even fully understand it. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that, well, we poop outta there, and honestly poop is pretty gross regardless, so the place where it comes from must be pretty gross too, right?
Right. And what is it about guys who want anal sex? They are equally gross. They are dirty, lecherous pigs who can't be happy with the two holes we girls already provide them, sometimes when we are not entirely in the mood, too. Why can't they just be content with that? Is the almighty vagina not satisfying enough for him?
Okay, being serious now. Yes, the proposition of having butt-sex with your boyfriend, husband, significant other, fuckbuddy or whoever you choose, can be daunting and downright scary. But, it doesn't have to be. It can be understood, and made way, way less scary and weird than it actually is.
Picture this. You and your honey are in bed after a long, hard day at the office, and it's playtime. You two are just about to go at it, until sheepishly, he asks you: "Hey, um, could we try anal tonight?"
Some women are totally fine with that. However, from talking to my girlfriends and their friends and a whole bunch of other folks - I've come to find that with most women - that sort of question would earn the poor guy a slap on the cheek or some harsh words and maybe even denial of sex totally. This is understandable. The idea of having someone's penis in your butt does not always excite feelings of passion and lust, and it makes sense, from a scientific standpoint, at the very least. We humans are creatures built for breeding. Taking it up the butt does not a baby make. Although this is most likely not the woman's first instinct in denying her hubby his back door delight, it's a pretty good reason on its own, even though her reasons might be a wee bit different.
I know the first time I was propositioned for anal by a dear, sweet ex of mine, I literally went 'UGH!' and proceeded to berate him. I think I said something along the lines of 'Oh my god why the fuck would you EVER ask that, are you crazy?' And then I started making assumptions. Was he secretly gay? Was I not tight enough for him? Did I do something that made him think I'd be okay with him doing me up the butt? It was a pretty stressful situation on both ends (no pun intended), and it took some time for me to come to terms with the fact that he wanted my ass, and I accepted it eventually. (Again, no pun intended.)
Alright, so we know what it's like to be asked to take part in this um... very unique expression of affection from the lady's side, but what about the dude's? Many women automatically assume that the guy is just a weirdo with some really strange fetishes. Sometimes the assumption is even made that this is the type of sex he really wanted all along, and if you go through with it, he will always ask you for it in the future. Or worse yet, he won't ask at all. However, the reality of the situation is usually far from this.
Picture someplace you really love being. It's your home, apartment, duplex, whatever. It's a wonderful place. Warm, inviting, cozy. You feel safe there and you enjoy it. You always know you will get some pleasure out of it, but sometimes, you just want to get away. You want to go someplace exotic. Maybe Las Vegas, or Hawaii. Both of those places have their own charms - they are different. Still pleasurable, but different. This is exactly how most men picture anal sex.
Let's be frank. (Straight) men love the vag. They love it because it brings them pleasure. They covet it and adore it because it makes them feel good, and more often than not, it never disappoints. (Are you seeing the correlation with the whole home/apartment situation yet?) To the man's penis, the vagina is their home or apartment. It belongs there, and it loves being there. And yet, there is the strange, exotic anus it must consider.
Your butt is the dick's Las Vegas/Hawaii bit of this metaphor. It's not that you'd want to live in some resort in Hawaii forever or stay at the Luxor for an indefinite amount of time, but it's just nice to get away sometimes. Really, really nice. This is, for the most part, how men feel about having anal sex.
It is exotic to them. It's different. It's still a hole in your body - a warm, wet, ridiculously tight hole, but a hole none the less, and still a part of you. When your man asks you for anal, he's not trying to be gross or be a pig, he just wants to take his Johnson on vacation. Of course -- whether or not you feel comfortable with that is still entirely up to you, but you need not fear anymore that you are inadequate or your man is a sexual deviant. Men are not always tactful about bringing up propositions such as this one, and of course, no woman should be forced into doing something she isn't comfortable with.
However, if after reading that bit of information, you understand now and 'see the light' so to speak, and are willing to go through with anal just to see if you enjoy it as much as your man does, there are ways to make the trial period less stressful and more successful. Flavored lubes, butt-plugs and a myriad of other training toys out there are designed to loosen you up and get you ready for the main event. It might take a while, but if you keep at it if you like where it's going after the first try, you will be greatly rewarded. Now, not only will you no longer have an abhorrence for anal sex, but you and your s/o will now have more common ground, and it will bring you closer together.
On the other hand, if you still think anal is gross, regardless of your man's reasoning, that's just fine too. Nobody should ever force you to do something that you don't feel comfortable with. At the very least, you now understand where he is coming from, and the next time he asks you meekly for anal and then winces for the inevitable backhand, he will be pleasantly surprised if you respond with something along the lines of "I get why you want it, but I just don't want something up my butt. Sorry, dear."
Well, that concludes our lesson in anal sex education. We hope it has enlightened you.
Always wear a Rubber, and Happy Fucking!
- M & J
Hope you guys like it. If this kinda thing isn't allowed, I will totally baleet it. :)