i am 19 years old. i'm not childfree or anything like that but i also don't care if i have /my own kids/. i have a debilitating medical condition called membraneous dysmenorrhea.
* Spasmodic dysmenorrhea
o Pain starts on the 1st day of menstrual flow.
o It is usually experienced as an excruciating pain in the lower abdomen lasting for half to one hour.
o Severe pain on the other hand is irregular and spasmodic and may be associated with nausea, vomiting, fainting or collapse. This pain followed by a less pronounced pain in the lower abdomen, pubis, inner portion and front of the thighs and lasts for not more than 12 hours.
o Sometimes a premenstrual discomfort may be felt on the day before the flow.
o Spasmodic dysmenorrhea may be associated with some degree of menstrual irregularity
o Amount of blood loss is usually less than the average flow and sometimes pain is relieved by passage of blood clot.
o This type of dysmenorrhea usually improves after marriage and is cured after pregnancy.
* Membranous dysmenorrhea
o It is an extreme form of spasmodic dysmenorrhea but is very rare. Severe, intractable pain typically lasts for up to twelve hours.
o It usually runs in families and the pain tends to recur after pregnancy.
* Pain persists and is not relieved even after taking treatment.
* Pain is so severe as to cause absence from work or school.
* Pain is associated with severe vomiting, fainting or collapse.
right, now that we have that out of the way, i've been on birth control since i was fifteen after episodes where i had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance because the pain was severe enough that my heart rate was 100 while i was lying down on the floor. i've had convulsions from it before. the only treatment, while i'm in an acute attack, is a shot of morphine. when i first had the episodes the doctors refused to give it to me because i was "so young" (...fourteen), but they ended up not being able to do anything else because my heart-rate went too high because the pain was, and let me stress this, really fucking bad.
since i was fifteen i've been on birth control non-placebo monophasic 365 days a year. sometimes my birth control fails to work. the reasons for this are not clear. i don't take any other medication and i am vigilant about what i eat and what i do to ensure that my birth control always works. but it results in me having an attack. rather than go to the hospital, my family has adopted a routine of clonazepam and tylenol #1. this means that my family does not want me to go to the E.R so they basically have to drug me out of my mind so i don't feel the pain because doctors around here won't give me painkillers now since i'm over the age of 19 and don't engender the sympathy of doctors anymore since i'm not "a child". and the dominican is a piece of shit when it comes to treating "drug seekers".
this happens rarely, but it happened this week. it got me thinking about other treatment options.
this is where i go back to my statement above. i am not childfree (as in the definition of "doesnt want children" like on childfree). some day, i would like to have kids of my own. i would like to be a mother. however, i want a hysterectomy. the reasons why i want a hysterectomy are as follows
1) being on birth control for such a prolonged period of time, mono-phasic, and without placebos makes my chances of getting pregnant at about 1%.
2) i have been pregnant in the past, when i was fifteen (before they put me on the birth control obviously). i had a miscarriage after a month and a half. i don't know if i am capable of even having a pregnancy carried to term. i also have endometriosis, and my uterus is tipped.
3) despite the fact that every female doctor i've ever seen has always been like "oh but you'll change your mind you'll want kids later you'll want this and blablablabla", i honestly don't care. i'm not childfree, but if i want children, I WILL ADOPT THEM. there are plenty of fucking children in the world already who don't have mothers, i'd be glad to be one of them. if i even decide to have children. i'm only 19, i don't even KNOW if i want them yet, but i DO know that i don't care whether or not they're my flesh and blood.
4) the long-term side-effects of taking birth control for basically what amounts to the rest of my life as far as my doctors are concerned, are numerous and severe. thickening of the blood is one i can think of off of the top of my head, and that doesn't sound very fucking nice.
i have went to my doctor with these reasons and she refuses to listen to me. i don't know what to do. i'm basically planning on, at the moment, spending the rest of my life on birth control, in and out of hospitals, and drugged with tylenol #1.
five days out of every month is a pretty fucking significant portion of my life. i think i'll be too busy writhing on the floor once the birth control stops working for good to even get pregnant and raise a child anyway which i so obviously want, thank-you modern medicine for your FUCKING OPINION.
i'm sorry, half of this was just a rant, but i honestly don't know what the hell to do. the doctors i've been to seem to think i can't possible understand what i'm talking about and refuse to even try to change my treatment or even TEST me for something that they could do, give me a different kind of birth control, anything. rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhage.
i just want all of this shit in me, OUT OF ME. it's not that much to ask. i understand what i'm getting into if i have a hysterectomy, i understand it's not going to be pleasant, but it will get rid of my symptoms. i'm not going to spend the next fifty years going through this goddamned disorder there is just no way.
does anybody have...any suggestions? i guess i don't even know what anybody could say to me, this isn't really a rant community is it...
does anybody else have this disorder? are there other things they can do? is there something i can say to my doctor that will make him listen to me instead of treating me like a kid who doesn't know anything about their own opinions or body?