I have an issue with orgasms. You see...I can have them by myself. While going solo, jilling off, flicking the bean ya know? But it requires visual or mental stimulation like porn or erotica. I can masturbate and orgasm without these things, but it takes me a long time and I am doing some hardcore fantasizing. I feel like I am addicted to this stimuli because I NEED them to get off. I feel so dirty at the things I have to conjure up to get me to cum sometimes.
I absolutely can not have an orgasm while receiving oral/tactile stimulation from my husband. ( Or from any other partner in my past either) Even if my mind goes on overdrive. Its not for his lack of trying, he'll stay down there for >40min bless his heart. I don't like using a vibe because I want him to be able to get me off using his hand or tongue alone. It would be awkward for us to incorporate the stimuli I use to get me off solo into our together time. Because the scenarios that get me off are usually something I wouldn't try myself. ETA: I also can't masturbate to orgasm with him watching or being close. Perhaps I have this fixation that masturbation + alone = orgasm. I just need to figure out how to orgasm with my partner!
Any help or suggestions? I realize that about 75% of this is mental.