may_third (may_third) wrote in vaginapagina,

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Temporary HBC use? And another issue...

Hi all!
My best friend is coming home on leave from the army for a week starting July 26th and the last time we got together we had hooked up and have been discussing having sex when he gets home next week. This is a person I have loved for years and care deeply for, we've both agreed not to hook up with other people, so this has become a mutually exclusive kinda FWB kinda more relationship. He's my best friend and someone I've always been attracted to so I'm really excited about him coming home!

He is coming home in 10 days and I have started taking my HBC prescription again just yesterday. It was also the first day of my period, so I know that means I'm immediately protected.

I want to use withdrawal+the pill as our sole means of contraception when he's home, we're both STD/STI free and neither of us have been with anyone else since each other that first time (we didn't have sex though).

Will this be ok? I really don't want to use condoms with him even though I am not ruling it out because my 17 year old sister has a 1 year old child...So that is horrifying. Getting pregnant=my worst nightmare.

I am always on time with my pills and am not on any anti-biotics/do not have any conditions that would effect how they work.

Soo, 10+ days of having started the pill on the first day of my period, coupled with withdrawal=effective?
Since he is stationed in Missouri and I live in Maine/go to school in NY, we rarely see each other...So is it ok to take the pill for just a month? I don't know when I am going to see him again...sadly.

This is going to be really special and a really new thing for us so I just want to know we're good when it comes to protection.

*Sigh* Sex and I have had quite a strained relationship in the past...I don't want it to continue with my new relationship.

I was raped in 2007. That screwed up my perception of what sex was/my expectations very badly. I was a virgin when this happened...I was raped in June 2007, which robbed me of my "virginity," but then that fall I met a guy I was really in love with who had never had sex before me so I told him my story and he was very sweet and we had a "do-over," and reclaimed my "first time" experience together. I never orgasmed with him but there was ONE instance where all the angles were right and I had never felt anything nearly as good before, but he came too fast so we couldn't continue in that position and never seemed to find it again after that :( I always loved having sex with him, though...Until it felt like I was keeping our relationship alive and it became like a chore, I always loved it. We broke up after a year and a half of dating and it took me a while to get back on my feet emotionally afterwards.

I met a guy 6 months later and we clicked, ended up dating, and had sex relatively quickly for what I would have liked to wait. Actually, the sex came before the official "we're dating," proclamation which really isn't the way I like to do things...Things went a little too fast, and one night we were hooking up and the next we were having sex. Looking back on it it was weird...I never agreed to having sex with him, I told him I was on the pill and the next second he was pushing himself inside of me and I didn't stop him. He had a huge penis and it hurt. I never really felt completely in control of sex acts with him except for ONE instance. Sex never felt good, it almost always hurt because he was so big, and it always felt like I was watching and not participating almost. It's hard to explain. I faked a lot of orgasms with him, regrettably, so when I stopped faking, explained everything, and then vowed never to fake again...he got really angry and our relationship fell apart. I wasn't mean about it, just...when he asked if it felt good, I was honest and told him I didn't orgasm because I didn't want to fake it anymore. We were long distance for a while, and during the time we were apart, I had my first orgasm, (and then my second, third, fourth, so on), by myself. Sex with him became a chore and I hated it and never had any desire to have sex with him at all. He became demanding/verbally abusive/and belittled me to no needless to say sex hardly happened at all towards the end of things.

I can't seem to orgasm from manual stimulation alone, I need a detachable shower head/oral B toothbrush/vibrator to do the trick. No one has ever brought me to that point and it makes me feel bad :( I don't even get the buildup feeling with sex/oral/fingering, it just feels like someone is poking/licking, etc. Maybe it's because no one has done it right thus far, (first boy was clueless which I don't blame him for because I was too, second was impatient and easily frustrated/quick to yeah)...

Sorry for the novel, but...any tips on how to reclaim my desire/sexuality/orgasm with a partner? (Although I've never had orgasm with a partner...hmph) I want to WANT sex, and with my new boy I really DO want him, but I am scared. I haven't had sex since February when I ended my last relationship and I'm really, really horrified that I won't like it. That sounds horrible, but it's true. I don't think that has anything to do with my guy, it's more a me thing. I think I psych myself out.

But I am scared/worried and need advice. Anyone? :(

I feel like I've read all I can read and have a few things in mind to try with my newly found BFFWB (haha) but I am scared I won't enjoy it. I love him and want him and want us to BOTH be satisfied. This is the most amazing person I know, inside and out--and he will try anything I want to try, he respects me, and loves me more than anything in the world. I want this to be good. We have so much chemistry but I am still scared...Advice on emotional part/desire/partner orgasm? I'm really, really nervous. But again, not because of him...because of me and my past of abuse/no orgasms/pleasure.


Thanks in advance! :D
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