Hi all, I'm both new to this community and new to sex in general.. Recently my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time and it was extremely painful (we'd been going out for several months and though he's played with me before it's never hurt). As soon as he entered me it felt like my vulva was being torn around the edges. Initially I assumed it was because it was my first time ever having sex and I wasn't used to it, but after doing some research online I began to doubt this notion. I took into consideration all the possible causes for the pain that I read online - I'm fairly certain I do not have a bacterial infection or other disease; I also feel like I was sufficiently lubricated (like I was leaking on the sheet) because there was foreplay; so the only thing I felt like it applied to my situation was tearing.
After reading articles and forums, I examined myself and found a cut near the lower part of my vulva and it was red and a bit inflamed. I let this heal for about 3 days after which things felt normal again, so my boyfriend and I decided to give it another go. However, though I was ready and even seemed to /want/ to have sex, again when he entered it was extremely painful. I told him so and we stopped immediately (I'm so grateful that he's understanding!).
I really want to be able to have good sex with my boyfriend, both to please him and to feel good myself, with no pain. I'm worried that sex will always be painful with us and I don't want that to happen! I'm also worried that I am either too small to accommodate him or that he is too large.. Do you know of what I can do to perhaps make the experience not painful?