Kirsty (aphrael) wrote in vaginapagina,

Non-existent sex drive

Hi everyone,

I'm having a bit of a problem with my sex drive. As in, I don't seem to have one any more. My husband and I have been together for 4 years, and we've been married for almost 2 of those. I've always had quite a high sex drive in the past, but for the last two years, it's been on the decline. When I met my husband I wasn't taking the Pill (although I had taken it previously for quite a few years), but I started taking it again a few months into our relationship. I stopped taking it after 6 months because my sex drive was starting to disappear, plus I was continually depressed and insane-feeling. But my sex drive never recovered.

I have absolutely no desire for sex. With anyone, not just my husband, so it's not that I don't find him sexually attractive any more. And it's not just that I don't feel like it, the thought of it actually repulses me a little - all the fluids, breath, etc. I never used to care about any of that stuff, so I don't know why it bothers me now. If I do actually have sex with my husband, I mostly enjoy it, if we have lots of foreplay. But I often feel resentful that I have to have sex at all, even though it's always my idea to try.

My husband doesn't pressure me at all into having sex. He has been extremely understanding of how I feel about it. But we have sex, at most, once a month, and I can't help but feel that this has affected our relationship in other ways. We rarely kiss, or be affectionate, because my husband worries that I'll think he's trying to get me into bed. I want to want to have sex with him, if that makes sense, and I want to fix this. I just have no idea how to go about it. Should I see a doctor? Is there any kind of medication I can take for this? A few facts:

I'm not taking any medication at the moment.
I'm 26 years old.
I'm overweight - About 30-40kg overweight, but I'm trying hard to eat better and exercise more (although I'm not doing so well at it). I was overweight when I met my husband, though, so it's not a new thing.
I was recently diagnosed with social and general anxiety disorder (which I have suspected I've had for about 10 years, so once again, nothing new), and prescribed Lexapro, which I haven't taken because I'm terrified of SSRIs.

Can anyone help?
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