azaelia_took (azaelia_took) wrote in vaginapagina,

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Nervous about sex/pregnancy/etc//questions about HBC

 Hi. I posted here once before, back when I first started having sex with my boyfriend.

Things have been going really well--sex is no longer painful for me, and he and I are really enjoying exploring this new side of our relationship.  We're both really nervous/paranoid people, so we've ALWAYS used a condom and been careful to pull out quickly afterward and check the condom for leaks and so on.

However, there's something we might not have taken into account.

On the 4th of this month, just a day or two after I finished my period, we had sex. I'm always a little nervous during that time frame when I know that I'm likely to be fertile/at risk of becoming pregnant, but I never want to actually NOT have sex because of it. Condoms are safe enough. We're always careful to use them correctly (sometimes throwing a couple away due to mistakes putting them on, or me not being satisfied that there's no air in the tip), and we've never had one break. Usually we are fans of the basic missionary position (him on top) but this time we changed it up and I was on top. I'm scared that somehow the ejaculate could have leaked down to the base of the condom and gotten inside me.

I've felt physically off all month--my stomach's been bloaty, gassy, and weird; sometimes painful. Of course, so has the boyfriend, so I'm wondering if there isn't something in our diets or some minor illness causing this. I've also had to pee ALL DAY today, and I haven't had anything to drink. I think it might be nerves, just because so much of my energy is invested in this worrying about being pregnant thing.

I'm due to start my period sometime this week--tomorrow it will be one month from when I started last month, but anywhere from now until the 24th is well within the realm of possibility (I've never had the most regular cycle ever).

Anyway, long story short: Have we been unsafe, here? Is there any risk that I could be pregnant?

I've talked it over with him, tried to stress that this is something that I'm worried about, and he's always been kind of dismissive about it. I don't mean that in a bad way; just that as far as he can see, we've been perfectly safe--safer, even, than most people are, given our slightly neurotic approach to the whole thing. I'm afraid that if, (worst case scenario) I'm pregnant, he's going to believe I've cheated on him, instead of giving me the support that I really will need. I love him with all my heart, and would never do that. How do I bring this up with him?

Also...I know I really have to go on HBC, if only for my own peace of mind. I've looked into the pill, the shot, and also implanon, though I'm more curious about the latter (I don't know if I can remember to take my pill every day at the same exact time, and the shot's effects on bone density make me anxious). Anyone have any experience with it? I'm really anxious about side effects in general, particularly the weight gain and the loss of sex drive.

Thanks in advance for any light you all can shed on the situation. <3
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