DarkSerena (darkserena) wrote in vaginapagina,

Update - Encouraging Assertiveness

I posted a little while ago about my old, abusive relationship that ending in a sexual assault affecting my new (loving and going great) relationship. I thought I would update!

We had a VERY frank discussion about sex (and a bunch of other things!). I brought it up one night soon after my other post, figuring being straightforward was the best bet, since my guy's very quiet and kinda shy. It was a great conversation, and actually right after we fooled around in earnest for the first time! (And from our conversation we have an open game of "20 Questions" running, where we think of things to ask one another about sex/anything personal.)

As always he's a great listener and very willing to learn! He's still quite timid; I typically have to initiate if anything is going to get started, and while he's always up for doing whatever, he'll just cruise control at making out forever if I let him. :P I often ask him what HE wants to do, or have me do, and after some thinking he can usually come up with something. Just needs a little encouragement!

I'd love for him to just grab me and start kissing me, but I realize he's new to the game and we're new to the relationship. Baby steps!

So, while I'm open to any suggestions on how to continue encouraging assertive behavior, I'm also updating to say things are going well!
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