freakin_lj (freakin_lj) wrote in vaginapagina,

Anhedonic orgasm/"ejaculation" in women?

Hi all,

I'm a 22 year old female, in a long-term relationship with a guy of almost 3 years now, on Yasmin but just stopped taking it, no other meds. I used to be able to orgasm easily and hard, but since the last three months or so, I've suddenly found myself with a case of anhedonic orgasm--that is, physically orgasming, but without pleasure (very similar to anhedonic ejaculation in men). It sucks and I'm desperate for help. Here's the story:

Ever since I became sexually active, I was able to come quite easily and very hard from pretty much anything--oral, manual, vibrators, the whole deal. About 3 months ago, however, the whole situation changed. My boyfriend and I had been inactive for a week or two--he'd had a fungal infection around his junk, and I think I was sick and then on my period--but once we were back to normal, we went back at it.

The problem? My orgasm was completely screwed up. Rather than feeling like a physical explosion and a chemical rush, it felt like I was just clenching my fist and letting it go--totally mechanical, with no actual pleasure whatsoever. It wasn't that I couldn't come--I knew that my body was technically gathering up all the tension and then releasing it, just like an orgasm--but it had no pleasure associated with it whatsoever.

I figured it was just due to being out of practice, but the next time and the next time, it was the same. I would ride whatever good sensation was happening to its peak... and then it would just sort of whimper away as my body went through the motions of physically coming. The good ones would at least feel physically nice, although they would lack the strength and rush of my previous orgasms; the bad ones would either bring me up to a peak and then fade out, or would lack any good feelings at all and almost hurt instead, my body releasing the tension without any endorphins or whatever to make it actually feel good. Nothing whatsoever has matched the way I used to come. I've been trying not to think about it, and often in the moment I'm convinced I have it back, since all the feelings right before I "come" are great; but the same thing always happens after: it goes out with a whimper, and totally lacking any of the body rush/bubbly feeling of endorphins afterwards. (Weirdly enough, the way my legs and feet clench up has changed, too; before both would, but now only my left one does, and painfully so.)

I went to go see a doctor about it, but even she seemed to think it was just in my head--like no matter how often I told her that my life is awesome in pretty much all its facets, I must be hysterical or frigid or upset about something. I looked this kind of thing up online, and I found the term "anhedonic ejaculation" regarding men--the symptoms of which sound identical to what I have--but with no information or related terms for women. All the information I could find was on anorgasmia, which is not what I have--I've been coming easily for like the last 5 years, with no hangups about sex/masturbation and in loving relationships. I can say with the utmost confidence that this is *not* in my head, or due to a lack of "knowing" or "loving my body."

The whole thing is really upsetting, and any help at all would be appreciated. Just please don't suggest that it's all in my head/due to stress/related to communication with my boyfriend, or that I just need to "explore my body." All those answers work for a lot of things, but I can say for sure that they're not the answers to this. Anything other than that, I would love to hear.

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