Bailey (blouise) wrote in vaginapagina,

Counseling and learning how to protect yourself after a rape ending in an abortion

A really close childhood friend of mine confided in me that she was date raped and it ended with her getting pregnant and had an abortion. I went to the hospital when she had it and she's been very, very down since. This all happened about a month ago and she's having a really hard time with it, she feels terrible for going against her faith and doing it and keeps talking about how jealous she is of a girl we went to school with that recently had a baby. To add to all of this, one of her best friends passed away last week and she's acting like it was nothing. All i've heard about it was how she had to go out of town for a funeral and when I asked who it was all she said was her name, and after I looked into it a bit, it turned out she'd commited suicide

Her sister and brother in law, are on her contantly about how she's a horrible selfish person. They don't know about the abortion, and it's only because she's a little bit messy and they say her mother spoils her, which I've never seen done besides her mother buying her some nice clothes but, the she's a huge fashionista clothes are what she enjoys. She's a really independant girl with horrible self worth issues, she's also let me know years ago, that she was molested as a child, and besides that, she'd never had sex. Her mother also let her drop out of high school because she couldn't take the bullying, attemted suicide more than once, and has had an eatting disorder since she was 13. They know none of this and only see she was allowed to drop out of high school and her mother buying her nice things. Tonight, I got a call from her crying because her sister's dog broke a really expensive vase and she got the blame for it. It ended in her brother in law getting in her face screaming at her, about how shes a terrible selfish person and never thinks about anyone but herself when she tried to defend herself and explain that the dog did it. I can only imagine how terifying it was for her, she's been afraid of men her entire life.

This is all really scaring me, I don't want to lose her, last year when her boyfriend broke up with her she went on a huge bender, drank for three months straight did plently of drugs she shouldn't have, and got majorly back into her eatting disorder along with self mutilation. I want her to get help as soon as possible, but she refuses because she doesn't want to get police involved and she doesn't want anyone to know about her eatting disorder. She broke down and told her mother about the rape and abortion after the fight with her brother in law, and her mother is taking it hard as well. She's gone out of her way many times to prove to me that her eatting disorder isn't hurting her in any way and she's researched for years on how to do it safely. She keeps telling me that "the past is the past and nothing more" and I really don't know what to say to that.

How can I help my friend, and if she gets the counseling will they make the police get involved with this? She also keeps talking about how she wants to take some kind of martial art, which I think would be great for her but I know nothing about it so any tips to sudgest to her would be great as well
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