okay mods feel free to delete if this is inappropriate, but VP rocks and folks here know a LOT about this sort of thing. (this is a sockpuppet since i feel weird even talking about this.)
there was an incident recently between myself, my best friend and my husband. (2 female bodied people, 1 male bodied person.) he just watched and we fooled around (manual, no oral, shirts off, hands down pants.) this was a lot of fun for all, and we'd like to repeat the experience sometime.
medical concerns: she has genital herpes (no outbreaks in years) and i was at one time told i have HPV about 4 years ago. did a colpo but all other paps negative including last one. i'm 29 now if that make any difference as i've been told that if you are diagnosed w HPV before 30 it's so common and clears itself it's not supposed to be something you freak over. also, in the past 8ish mos or so my husband has developed a wart type deal on the upper part of his penile shaft, and now i'm thinking that's HPV related. but i supposedly did not have it at my last pap almost a year ago. hence, confusion. my gameplan would be for us to have fun and entertainment on occasion, but not walk away with more medical concerns than when we started.
other concerns: i've made it explicitly clear that there is to be no touchy of her by him or vice versa beyond backrubbing, breast fondling. zero zip none penetration, no oral, but there's a lot of other sexual stuff between those two ends of the spectrum. he's 100% fine w that and just thinks watching us is entertaining in and of itself. When the original incident occurred, even though we'd all had a bit to drink (and not part of the future plans as intoxication could be a sure road to disaster i think) all i was thinking in the back of my mind was that his pants HAD to stay on because she's not on any hbc and if she sat in a pile of semen we'd be on jerry springer and how i'd really like to NEVER go there, thanks. but there's probably a LOT of stuff i haven't thought of, and i'm hoping someone here has had situations like this go successfully on occasion with no detriment to any relationships involved.
the three of us have decided that we will have to sit down and discuss all this before anything happens again to establish "rules and regulations" so as to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings etc. but i would really welcome advice/pointers from folks here who have 'been there done that.' much thanks in advance!!!!