lolaaaaaa (lolaaaaaa) wrote in vaginapagina,

Final post/ my abortion experience

Well, I did it. I got my surgical abortion on Thursday, and I feel great about all of this being over and done with, and i'd really like to thank you all for the advice you've given me.

well, I dated Z for about seven months, but when I realized how much of a loser he was and after he'd been a total jerk to my mother, I dumped him. Six months passed and I spoke to him once in a while online, but nothing major and I deffinately didn't want to go out with him again. Then I moved to the same city he'd moved to, to go to cosmotogy school, a mural friend told him I moved there and he wouldn't leave me alone to hang out with him, and let me just say before he came back into my life it was amazing, sure the school I was going to wasn't that great but I enjoyed what I was doing and made a ton of friends. Well one night we hung out, I showed him my fancy new apartment I was so proud of and he wouldn't shut up about how I was just wasting room having an empty second bedroom, then it came out, he was being kicked out of his place and didn't have any where to go. I'm a huge push over and I felt really sorry for him so I agreed to let him stay for a month to help him get back on his feet. Boy was that a mistake. He did a lot of stupid stuff that first month, let his friends in and they stole a bunch of my stuff, and kept begging me to take him back, which I stupidly did. After that he basically took over the apartment and it was never really mine again. Let's flash forward three months, most of my friends aren't talking to me anymore because I let him rule my life, I'm doing horrible in school because I never get any sleep with his friends around ( and not to mention the teachers I had were pretty horrible too). I was getting super depressed over most of this and he finally conviced me to quit school, and I stupidly did. It's the biggest mistake I've ever made, besides letting him back into my life. Flash forward another two months, he's started abusing me mentally and physically, only let's me leave the house to go to work and to go out with his friends. It was hell. I'd still stood my ground about not having sex until I was married up until this point, but one night he or one of his friends slipped me something in my drink, and well I guess you knowvthe rest because a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. As soon as I found out, I finally smartened up and dumped him, told him to get the he'll out of my apartment, which he wouldn't, until he found out I was almost out of money and couldn't take care of his ass anymore, then he decided it was his idea to move out and he dumped me. Ha that was great. I went to planned parenthood, cried to the nurse, and told her my story, how I couldn't be connected to someone like that for my entire life and she booked me an appointment with a gynocolgist two weeks down the line. It felt like forever, so I went home and spent the two weeks with my mother, and got ready to move out of my apartment and back home with her, when the two weeks were up and I had to come back for my appointment, my mother came too and kicked him out, with the help of the police. I had to see him again after she left, when I had the appointment, since I don't have a car and needed a ride there. He admitted to me he's stolen over $3,000 from me in the time we lived together, and the last thing he told me was that " I'm not a very likable person, and I better god damn well have an abortio. Or he'll find me and kill me" he just dropped me off at the doctor and I haven't seen or heard from him since, all I know is that he mved back in with his father in a different provnce, 17 hours away from me.

But anyways, I went to the appointment, the doctor doing the ultra sound was extremly nosey, she asked me why I was having one so early, and I told her I was terminating, she gave me a 10 minute speech on how there were plently of famlies willing to adopt a baby. It really angered me. The nurses weren't that great either, one gave me the stink eye until I got in after I told her I didn't have a partner to put on the form. But, the doctor I saw was great, I cried to her, and she listened to me, and even face me a hug, ha it was a bit odd, but I was booked in for the d&c 18 days later.

My friend Ceidhli, and Z's cousin that hates him came with me for it. I was told to come in at noon, but she and I just watched star trek in the tv room until 3. The day surgery nurses were so great, they joked around with me all day and even agreed to spread the word about how bad my cosmo school was. When I finally got down to the ORs It was about 3:30, another girl that looked about 30 was getting one too. I met with two doctors and a nurse, all were very nice. I woke up around 4 and started to cry, still a little high from being put under because I was so happy it's all over and I can get on with my life. I got out around 5:30 and walked the two blocks with ceidhli back to my apartment. I only bled for a day after it was done, it's been three and I haven't bled a drop, I'm a little worried but from what I've googles it's normal.

Today, I moved home, and I haven't been this happy and relieved in months, my choice to get an abortion was the right one for me, it's changed the way I see the world, and im proud of myself for doing it. Keeping this from my mother is going to be hard, but we have seperate beliefs now, and I know she'd think less of me if she knew I did this.

Again, thank you VPers, you've saved and changed my life, this community is a great thing and i'll be contributing to it more often. Also, sorry for the novel and any errors, I wrote this on my phone and it's horrible to type on
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