Yesterday, I spoke to a guy who I was having oral sex / sexual intercourse with in the summer time. We stopped seeing each other in August. He said that he had "a serious question for me" and then went on to explain that he has had two strange outbreaks around his genital region. Apparently, he broke out with "several puss-filled, skin coloured lumps" around his genitals but not directly on his penis. The lumps appeared within a matter of hours and disappeared overnight. The outbreaks happened twice, about 5 weeks apart, both times disappearing by the morning. I of course told him to go right to the doctor to get a full STI test, but decided I would discuss it with him a little further to try to rule out some possibilities.
I have been tested for bacterial STI's and am not infected with Chlamidya or Gonorrhea, however I have not been tested yet for HSV-2 though I have not had an outbreak before. Basically, this guy is convinced that what he's got is HSV-2 and that I must have passed it on to him, because he has only had one other partner who he used a condom with and was a virgin. Assuming that the strange outbreaks even ARE genital herpes, I told him that there is always the possibility that he could have contracted it from oral sex with someone who had a cold sore. He is basically insistant that based on my sexual history, that it must have been me who passed it on to him. We are both getting tested for the virus this week and will update each other, but for now I have some general questions that I would like to ask in order to relieve some of the paranoia that I am having.
1) What is the likelihood of passing HSV-2 to a person through viral shedding during condomless sex when there has never been an outbreak?
2) Does what I described above even sound like it could be HSV-2? I was under the impression that they were more in the form of open sores rather than skin-coloured, enclosed, puss-filled lumps that flare up and disappear within hours.
3) If I get tested for HSV-2 and come back positive, how can I be sure that it wasn't recently contracted from a new partner? He is being rather annoying about it and I get the feeling that he will respond angrily if I tell him that I came back positive - even if there is no way to prove that I had the virus while I was sleeping with him, or that he got it from me and not someone else. What would be the best way to talk to him about it where I can defend myself against rash assumptions while still accepting the chance that I gave him the virus? I don't want to take all of the blame when 1) There's no definitive proof and 2) Our decision not to use condoms was entirely mutual. Any suggestions??
Thanks everyone for your help...I am just feeling super paranoid and I am a little annoyed that he is being so accusing about all of this when neither of us even have any results yet.