Hopefully this will be somewhat coherent because my brain seems to be flooding with thoughts. And feel free to delete if this is irrelevant or doesn’t make sense.
So, I’ve been dating my first long term boyfriend for about 6 months now. He’s a little more experienced sexually but has, too, never been in a relationship this long before. He’s a great guy, a great boyfriend….always cares about my well-being emotionally, physically, and sexually. My only problem is that sometimes I feel…used. When we’re having sex, I can’t help but feel that I’m there only for his pleasure. This doesn’t logically make sense because he really does do everything in his power to get me off and make it pleasurable for me but I can’t help feeling, essentially, like an object. Even when we’re cuddling and he lets his hands wander (which I generally enjoy), I sometimes feel like I’m only there for his enjoyment. I’ve also told him no before (about the wandering/sexual advances) and he generally just continues anyway until I take his hand away and firmly say NO—though I definitely contribute to his confusion by sometimes saying no when I don’t necessarily mean it. I really, in theory, like the idea of exploring each others bodies and testing new things with each other…there’s just something about it that makes me uncomfortable. Does any of this make sense at all?
I haven’t had any traumatic experiences or been used by guys before so my newness to a relationship is the only factor I can think of that could make me feel this way. I apologize for all the rambling…it’s just something that has been irking me and I was hoping someone, somewhere could relate (or offer some advice).