Nevrose (nevrose) wrote in vaginapagina,

My sex life sucks right now

So, my fiance asked me the other day "are you satisfied?" And I told him the truth, "no." And it's not that he's a bad lover, it's more me. Like yesterday, I wanted to have sex, I was aroused, but when he touched me, I felt nothing and it crushed me. I cried for a long time afterwards because of it. However, he's extremely supportive. He has encouraged me to masturbate more often both to decrease stress (which will help) and to maybe increase my drive (which will also help).

My biggest problem is that I am unsure of how to talk to him about sex now. I used to be so open and willing to discuss anything. Now I feel uncomfortable and insecure. This insecurity about discussing sex happened right after I had an abortion, and it just hasn't gone away. I have discussed what happened surrounding the abortion in therapy to make peace with it, but I guess something didn't come out? Maybe it's a hormonal backlash?

I think my best bet though is to try to just start talking to him again. But I'm not sure how without hurting his feelings. I don't know how to give him direction. Like sometimes he will be massaging me, down there, and he's really rough (like he presses too hard) and it's uncomfortable, but I don't want to tell him "hey, you're pressing too hard" because I feel like it ruins the mood. Plus I have issues with getting wet and orgasm issues. I can orgasm from a vibe, but I get like "stage fright" if I use it with him. I feel like I have to put on a show and it freaks me out.

Any ideas that might help the overall situation?
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