My biggest problem is that I am unsure of how to talk to him about sex now. I used to be so open and willing to discuss anything. Now I feel uncomfortable and insecure. This insecurity about discussing sex happened right after I had an abortion, and it just hasn't gone away. I have discussed what happened surrounding the abortion in therapy to make peace with it, but I guess something didn't come out? Maybe it's a hormonal backlash?
I think my best bet though is to try to just start talking to him again. But I'm not sure how without hurting his feelings. I don't know how to give him direction. Like sometimes he will be massaging me, down there, and he's really rough (like he presses too hard) and it's uncomfortable, but I don't want to tell him "hey, you're pressing too hard" because I feel like it ruins the mood. Plus I have issues with getting wet and orgasm issues. I can orgasm from a vibe, but I get like "stage fright" if I use it with him. I feel like I have to put on a show and it freaks me out.
Any ideas that might help the overall situation?