Okay about a year ago almost, I made a post about how I had just lost my ex boyfriend to drugs (he didn't physically die but his personality changed so drastically and so fast that my counsellors were treating it as if he did die). So after that had happened (he was my first time and also my first real love) I tried masterbating several times and I just ended up crying uncontrollably every time. So I ended up giving up on it, became very depressed and stopped going out and haven't dated anyone since. Now I am dating again and with someone new, and we have started to have sex multiple times but I stop him everytime. I feel like I am cheating on my ex even though he has made it very clear that he has no feelings for me. My question is, is it normal for sex to feel wrong even after such a long time? And any tips on helping me to get past this?