kwaniesiam (kwaniesiam) wrote in vaginapagina,
kwaniesiam
kwaniesiam
vaginapagina

Pregnancy worries, update and confirmation

Cross posted elsewhere, and a follow up to here.

I'm pregnant. A blood test was done at Planned Parenthood to confirm and I'm about 10 weeks along now, I just found out Wednesday. It's not planned, and I'm not sure what to do right now. My parents haven't been informed yet, I'm waiting to figure out what I'm going to do before I worry them with this because we don't have the best relationship even though I do still live with my mother. My parents are divorced, I see my father regularly and both are very conservative and I know will not take this news very well. I'm at a point in my life where I know I cannot financially support raising a child (19 years old, full time student, unemployed but searching for a job). As much as I would want to keep the baby I'm not sure I can. My parents are having enough financial struggles on their own without the stress of helping support a child. The birth of the baby would also greatly interfere with my schooling. I go to cosmetology school and am set to graduate July 30th of next year.

I'm personally against abortion for myself despite being pro-choice, though have been looking in to it just to keep my options open. I've also considered adoption but am worried about my child being placed in foster care if no one adopts them in to a permanent home. I had a foster sister for a year when I was 14, she was 17 and it was a very difficult time for both of us because we did not get along at all. She turned 18 and moved out, I haven't heard from her since. Some of the stories she told me about the system scared me away from that as an option.

The baby's father (he's 22) and I are not together anymore, about 2 weeks after the incident resulting in this situation he left me for someone else (that is a whole other story I won't get in to right now). I did inform him, he's basically left the decision up to me and we've discussed options such as custody and child support in the event of me keeping the baby, but we're on shaky terms due to how everything happened and have been fighting constantly about it. All of my friends were also his friends, once the breakup happened they all sided with him so I have no one to talk to or help out right now.

I can't take the stress anymore, he's making this even harder on me and has acted like it's just something I've made up in an attempt to sabotage his current relationship because he knows I'm still in love with him He can't afford child support (part time student, full time minimum wage job living on his own) and despite saying how he would want to be a part of the kid's life, I don't trust him for obvious reasons. Also because of what he's done and how our relationship ended I'm not sure I'd want someone like him in my child's life anyway.

A few other concerns, I recently got over H1N1 and had an x-ray done at the hospital during my stay. I was pregnant at the time of this, I just wasn't aware of it at the time. I also took Tamiflu, Robitussin with coedeine, and ibuprofen while I was sick. Will this negatively affect anything? I'm also hypothyroid, and I've read that this can increase chances of miscarriage.

It would make me feel a lot better if anyone had any advice, especially for those of you who may have been in a similar situation, either in my place or that of parents, family, friends, etc. I don't usually post such personal issues but I'm not sure who else to talk to right now. So far I've only told my best friend, and the father has told his new girlfriend who did not take it well at all. Sorry this was so long. Currently I think I'm about 50/50 split between adoption and keeping the baby, but I do want to keep my options open.
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