Gypsy (weightofourlove) wrote in vaginapagina,

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Frustrated with Sex - also, possible pregnancy scare?

So, I've been having PIV sex for 1.5 years now (with the same partner), and I was told that it would get better with practice, but I'm just getting frustrated. I've had a lot of difficulty orgasming during sex; during the first year of having sex, I came about 2 or 3 times. Intercourse didn't last very long, less than 5 minutes (because my boyfriend comes very easily), and I always felt like, if it lasted longer, I might be able to orgasm during it. I talked to my boyfriend about it, and the next couple of times we had sex, he lasted a lot longer, and I was able to orgasm during sex. It was incredible. But then my boyfriend confessed that he had to disassociate himself completely from the experience in order to last that long, and sex wasn't fun for him. So, we went back to the old method. Not including PIV, the only way I can orgasm with him is by being on top of him and dry-humping, which works fairly well, but the G-spot orgasms I got from PIV were much more fulfilling and lovely. He can orgasm any which way, however; through PIV, my hands, my mouth, my breasts, etc. I'm so damn jealous.

Then, about a month ago, we tried out a new position that we had previously tried but weren't able to figure out. Me on top, but laying on him instead of sitting, with my legs straight out (getting him inside is the tough part that involves a lot of wiggling). This position works miracles for me. I can come within 5 minutes using this position, and I've orgasmed every time we've tried it. Since I'm rubbing my clit against his pubic bone, the orgasms are combined (clitoral & G-spot) and are the most amazing orgasms I've had. Yesterday, we had sex in this position, and I came, and when I asked him if he wanted to switch positions (his favorite is missionary), he told me he already came. I asked him why he didn't make any noise or indication that he was coming, and he said that the orgasm was entirely without pleasure for him. He has said that he doesn't like this position and that it doesn't do much for him, but it boggles my mind that coming from this position couldn't feel good at all for him. I don't want to believe him, even though it does't make sense for him to lie to me.

I am upset! The one position that works for me, and it does nothing for him? What the fuck, nature? He can orgasm easily and never has a problem, while I have trouble orgasming and sometimes just CAN'T orgasm no matter what we do. It's not fucking fair. I've been trying new things and educating myself and trying to find ways to make sex better, but every time I find something that works, there is a drawback. I'm very frustrated.

And I know people say that orgasm doesn't matter and sex should be enjoyable without it. I do enjoy sex on an emotional level (and when I'm in the moment, on a physical level) even when I don't orgasm, but then afterwards, I get blue balls (the female equivalent). It really hurts, like a fever and a headache in my crotch, and my body does not feel fulfilled or restful. It feels agitated and unhappy when I don't orgasm. This makes it hard to fully enjoy sex when I don't orgasm.

I don't even know what kind of advice I'm looking for; I guess I'm just distraught, feeling like sex is a cruel joke played on us by nature, making us both want it, but then men orgasm at the drop of a hat and women have to struggle and fight for every single orgasm, draining their partner and themselves of energy and patience. What's a girl to do?


And now, a brief "am-I-pregnant" question:
I am on the Nuva Ring, and I stack my rings so that I have 1 period every 3 months. When I moved into my new apartment, I lost my planner telling me when to switch out my ring. It was my stacking month (so I leave it in for 4 weeks and then put in a new ring), and I heard that the ring could be left in for 5 weeks without compromising my protection, so I figured I would leave it in maybe an extra week instead of maybe taking it out a week early (since I couldn't remember exactly which week to take it out). I started spotting half way through the week (I usually never spot), and then over the weekend, I had sex with my boyfriend without a condom. I had been planning on using a condom just in case, but then it was spur of the moment and I stupidly didn't ask him to put one on. I put a new ring in on Tuesday after that. This was a month ago. I'm due to take out my ring on Tuesday and have a "period", so I guess I'll find out then whether or not I'm pregnant, but I'm kind of worried because for the past couple of days, I've been constantly hungry. I've had like, 5 meals a day, and it's ridiculous. Then it suddenly hit me that I could be pregnant, and I'm just freaking out a little bit. It's probably silly, but i don't know whether or not my protection was compromised when I had barrier-less sex with my boyfriend a month ago. How soon do pregnancy symptoms (increased appetite) usually occur? :(

Thanks guys.

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