I want to thank everyone who responded to my post a few months ago on behalf of my friend with vaginismus. (I can't find the original post right now--I lost a beloved pet last night and am almost too doped up to function.) She wound up ordering a dilator kit from the internet and after several months of patient effort on behalf of her and her husband, she finally consummated her marriage of three years!
Thanks a bunch for all of the suggestions and kind words. I'm so happy for those two, I could squee. I mostly wanted to post this to give hope to anyone struggling with the same problem.