I was told not to get my hopes up, so I didn't really. I just told myself, yes, you have it regardless.
Nevertheless, my doctor really believed it was a false positive. He said for a year and a half to go by and to not have had ANY symptoms EVER it was likely. I had a low positive to begin with on the first blood test, a 3.0. I never had a symptom. Never an outbreak. Nothing.
So I got retested last Thursday with the HerpeSelect IgG IMMUNOBLOT test - supposed to be highly sensitive and highly specific. My doctor just called me. He said "Do you want the good news, the good news, or the good news?" I said all of it. He proceeded to tell me it was negative for both HSV 1 and HSV 2. That there were some later found problems with the first test and I was the third FALSE POSITIVE in the office.
He said he thinks it's safe to say I do not need the acyclovir anymore. That he's sorry I thought I had it for so long and that it was a mistake.
Now, last week I did some research and when compared with the Western Blot test the ELISA test only had a 35% accuracy rate. If you have never had a symptom, I urge you to get the IMMUNOBLOT test by HerpeSelect.
This diagnosis changed my life in so many ways. To begin with, I lost all of my self confidence. I became withdrawn and insecure, and while I do have a boyfriend who has accepted it, I was so terrified of losing him that I acted like a nut a lot of times. I put our relationship at risk. He has always loved me anyway... but I judged myself harsher than anyone else. I thought I was beneath everyone. I punished myself for a year and a half.
Looking back, believing that I had herpes forced me to open my eyes. I forced me to stop being judgmental and to accept that sometimes things happen and it does not make you or anyone else a bad person. I learned a hard lesson but this week I really learned that prayers really are answered.