4:48 am - 07/30/2005

Shakes after Orgasm

This is an issue that has been up to now simply annoying. Now I'm starting to get worried about it.

I almost always get the shakes after having sex. This always happens if I've orgasmed, but happens quite often even if I haven't. I have a 13 month old baby, so my husband and I can rarely have sex until after the baby is asleep. Every night that we have sex, I lay there in bed long after my husband has gone to sleep just feeling my entire body shake and hearing my heart pound. Usually after about two or three hours, I give up on sleep and try to do something else. It feels like my heart is going to pound right out of my chest and no amount of calming exercises seem to help. I find this really strange since I am usually feeling emotionally mellow and calm after sex, it's just my body that seems to go nuts.

I wondered if it might be as a result of my personal history. I was raped in highschool and it took me a long time to become emotionally comfortable with sex again. I seem to be pretty recovered from it as far as I can tell. Also I have been diagnosed with ADD. I noticed in the VP articles that women with ADD can have effects on orgasm itself, but can it affect the period after orgasm?

So are these shakes normal?
marti30sumthing 30th-Jul-2005 10:27 am (UTC)
Hi there, I get this too. My b/f and me rarely get intimate late into the night because he knows I will be up for the rest of the night in a completely wired state physically, then the next day I will be completely exhausted and drained.
I always thought this had to do with my medical condition, (this is the main reason b/f is leary of making me exhausted from late night sex, because I get so fatigued anyway) but even before diagnosis I was always hyper after sex or masturbation, I used to do it every morning from age 11 onwards to 'kick-start' my day. For me sex is ALWAYS wake up sex.

It sounds to me like you are pretty exhausted from having a young baby to cope with, and I think your hyper-wired reaction to sex is down to this. You are running on empty energy-wise and sex, which lets face it is a fairly intense physical experience, is just pushing your body into overdrive to the point where it won't switch off.
I think the ADD could have something to do with it, I suspect also that sex could be a trigger for your past rape and is therefore turning on all the parts of your brain that make you alert while and after you are doing it.

My advice for the short term would be, to have sex at a different time in the day rather than when you are already very exhausted. Possibly set the alarm to wake up early and do it. Then at least if you are hyper wired you can just put that into doing whatever you have to get done in the day. If mornings are not good for you how about getting a relative or grandparent or friend to take the baby for an afternoon and you and hubby could try it then and see how you go with that?

I would also suggest that you take some time to relax more generally. Maybe take your little one for a long walk in his/her buggy on a daily basis. Fresh air and regular gentle exercise can work wonders for calming the mind. Anything to try to bring down your background stress levels, so you are feeling generally calmer would be good I feel. Yoga class perhaps? Did you ever get any post rape counseling? This too could be something worth considering.

All the best :)
frozenflame22 30th-Jul-2005 07:09 pm (UTC)
Thanks for replying!

I'll definately try out some of your ideas for relaxing, but I always feel at least emotionally relaxed, which is why I always though it is weird that I can't just chill and sleep. I've gotten minimal counciling for the rape. It's a sticky situation. Even after seven years, my parents don't even know about it, and the guy that did it is one of those rich brats that gets off scott free for just about anything he does.

I've been trying to leave off sex at night and go at it when baby is napping, but it's been really difficult since I am so hard to turn on. Generally when the opportunity and the mood strikes at the same time, we go for it.
frozenflame22 30th-Jul-2005 07:27 pm (UTC)
Something I though about just now while making another post...

I've always gotten anxiety attacks for as long as I can remember. More often than not, they come up when I'm in a public place, but sometimes they do in intimate settings too. Could this be related?
_womb_to_tomb_ 30th-Jul-2005 12:52 pm (UTC)
i have adhd and i always get the shakes.
kitsune_dakota 30th-Jul-2005 08:27 pm (UTC)
Totally off topic, but Salad Fingers is awesome XD
willucry4me 30th-Jul-2005 05:20 pm (UTC)
Have you had your blood pressure checked? Uncontrollable shaking and twitching is a first sign of really high blood pressure. not being able to sleep is the other. same with pounding heart.

Sex makes your blood pressure rise like any other cardio exercise, and I guess what could happen is that having an orgasm doesn't normalize it for you if this is the case. But you said yourself that you feel emotionally mellow afterwards, so it doesnt' sound like it's your emotional state being conveyed through the physical. It sounds like an absolutely physical thing that you have no control over.

I do second the trying to take the time to relax every day.
frozenflame22 30th-Jul-2005 07:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks for replying! :)

I haven't had very good medical coverage lately (as in none), so I have no idea how my blood pressure is looking. When I was in highschool it was dangerously low, to the point that I had to go through some dietary changes to bring it up to a safe level. However, I had pre-eclampsia when I was pregnant and that made my blood pressure skyrocket, but even then it was just barely registering as high blood pressure. I can't afford a doctor's visit, and as far as I know I'm not eligible for medicaid anymore, so does anyone have an idea of how I can get this checked out? Are the little machines at pharmacies reliable enough to have a general idea?
willucry4me 30th-Jul-2005 07:23 pm (UTC)
the little machines are in fact pretty reliable. i have a blood pressure problem (i react very easily to caffeine etc), so i have a little machine with a wrist cuff at home. it's pretty accurate.

And.. for people who have low blood pressure in general, stuff that doesn't register as high blood pressure is still high. it's just, your own comfort level, youknow? it's different for everyone. as long as mine goes over 130/85 i start twitching and shaking.
grneyedgoddess blood pressure30th-Jul-2005 10:26 pm (UTC)
Around here (Tacoma, WA) you can get your blood pressure checked at your local firehouse. Only some of them though. I suggest you call your closest one and ask. :)

As for the shaking..I shake too after sex. Especially after really GOOD sex. It's usually just my legs though, which makes it hard to walk after a quickie! I never thought that it might not be normal..but it's really not that bad. Just something my hubby thinks is funny. :)
lindsey_nichole 30th-Jul-2005 06:01 pm (UTC)
On the lighter side, when men have sex, their bodies release a hormone that makes them want to sleep - and women release a hormone that gives them a burst of energy.

I always shake after sex. Sometimes for 10 minutes, sometimes for a good two hours - and I can rarely fall asleep afterwards.

Find something that really relaxes you, maybe taking a bath or reading, something you really enjoy. If you think it might be related to blood pressure etc, then definitely talk to a doctor and see if there are other issues going on :)

Also, if you lay in bed and try to sync your breathing with your husbands as he's sleeping, that is supposed to help lull you into sleep.

frozenflame22 30th-Jul-2005 07:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks for replying! :)

I hadn't thought about the hormones involved. My body does really weird things with any hormone change. I have huge moodswings and cramps that make me sick enough to puke every single period. I've tried hormone birth control, but that just made things worse. When my son was born, I threw up three times less than an hour after birth because of the hormone swings. Come to think of it, I was shaking uncontrolably then too... but I'm pretty sure that was because I had just given birth, lol.
lindsey_nichole 30th-Jul-2005 07:34 pm (UTC)
LOL, I'm sure labor is definitely enough to make you shake :)

Hormone shifts definitely make me miserable too.
theinfamousj 31st-Jul-2005 02:33 am (UTC)
Oh good. Nice to know that my intense desire to clean house after sex (it works off my excess energy) is normal.
azuresunglasses 30th-Jul-2005 06:20 pm (UTC)
Pretty much after any time I do anything of the sexual sort, I get shakey. If someone warms me up though, I stop. It's more like shivering, though I don't physically feel cold.
And yes, if I don't get warm, I can't sleep.
Don't have any advice, really. I'm just glad to know it is fairly normal.
frozenflame22 30th-Jul-2005 07:22 pm (UTC)
Thanks for replying! :)

This isn't really being cold. The air conditioner vent to my room is weirdly angled, so we get crappy ventilation in there anyway. More often than not, we are both burning up. I'll try warming up next time it happens.
meaningrequired 30th-Jul-2005 11:14 pm (UTC)
I get the same thing!
kitsune_dakota 30th-Jul-2005 08:28 pm (UTC)
That happens to me, sometimes, too. Especially if I haven't had sex in a while. It usually doesn't last too, too long, but it's a bit unnerving, nevertheless.
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