10:58 am - 04/21/2014

MMMMonday! Personal assumptions.



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Today, in the spirit of (and inspired by) Shakesville's questions of the day: What are some erroneous assumptions people make about you? Why do you think the assumptions are made? Do they bother you? Are those assumptions ever an asset? We'd just like to get some discussion going in comments, so if you're moved to, hop on in!
lanalucy 21st-Apr-2014 10:30 pm (UTC)
A lot of people assume that my weight means I'm either lazy or eat all the frakking time or both. I've seen the way people's faces change when I go for interviews. On paper, I'm impressive, but I walk in the door, and I can see the 'no' on their faces before I've even sat down.

In the long run, it hasn't bothered me, because I've found something I like better than any job I ever had, so it's good in a way that no interviews ever resulted in job offers. Once employed, I tend to stay long past the point where parting ways would be vastly better for my sanity.

I have a rather severe expression when my face is at rest (actually unless I'm outright smiling, it's hard to decipher my expressions), and I've been told I look angry or sad nearly all the time. People have told me they choose not to approach me to befriend me because they figured I had anger issues. In reality, it's just the way my dad's features look on a girl face. :shrugs:

Sometimes that bothers me, that people choose not to get to know me because I "look angry," so I remind myself that if they didn't want to put forth the effort to get to know me, they probably wouldn't have been much of a friend anyway. Whether or not that's true? I don't know.
shalimar_98 22nd-Apr-2014 01:22 am (UTC)
I'm also overweight and one of the guys m currently seeing is black. Before we went out he'd heard rumors about my interest in a friend of his. When it became obvious it was him not the friend I was interested in he hesitated for a fairly long while because he thought I was "that girl."

I was genuinely confused so I pushed him for an explanation of what he meant. He referenced the trope o overweight wire girl who's only interested in attractive black men.

I actually laughed. Reminded him of what we had I common, what we both were looking for and how well we got along. Told him on his case his skin color was just another fact, (like his height or thinness) and was neither a plus or a minis in explaining my attraction to him.

Was all around a enlightening conversation.
lanalucy 22nd-Apr-2014 01:31 am (UTC)
Someone asked me not too long ago to describe her as if I were at a party and she wasn't in the room. I went through the things I would say to find her easily, and eventually she said, "You're just going to dance around this, aren't you?"

A few more questions revealed that she expected one of the first descriptors to be skin color/race, and I never mentioned it at all. As you say, it's just another fact. It's not relevant to the soul (that sounds kind of hokey, sorry) I'm getting to know. If it were purple skin or something, I might mention it, because hey, purple. lol

I really dislike that assumption - that any person who shows sexual interest in me should be rewarded for deigning to flatter the fatty. >:( Like there's nothing else about me that's interesting. Mrgh.
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