4:39 pm - 06/21/2013

Numb clitoris - barely any sensation?

Hi!

I've had a problem - for several years now - to which I've never gotten a satisfactory answer. My clitoris is almost completely numb to the touch; I can get aroused, but touching it yields little-to-no sensation until I've been going at it for a while: 40-ish minutes or so at the least. Even then, my pleasure is diminished, and my orgasms are lame.

And after I have an orgasm, I have to wait at least a few days before I'm able to have another. If I try too early, things are still "desensitized" from that previous session.

The strange thing is that everything else is there. I get wet, my clitoris is hard, my legs shake...the physiological reaction, it seems, is all there. I just can't *feel* the actual pleasure.

I have no idea what's up. I've never seen a gynecologist about it, nor have I discussed it with my PCP.

Now, I have a hypothesis, which is likely going to sound silly. I noticed my numbness not long after I started using ... uh ... back massagers on myself. (Yes, run-of-the-mill back massagers from Brookstone. I wasn't old enough to get a real vibrator.) I did it quite frequently. So...could it have been that? Anyone have an answer?

Thanks!
alleriah8 21st-Jun-2013 09:23 pm (UTC)
Hmm, well I don't really have any advice...but this sounds similar to what my boyfriend says. He started using a back massager to masturbate at an early age. He started with the "low" setting, then moved up to high (which is super crazy intense!) I've used it a couple times but can only climax on the low setting (which is still pretty intense). But anyway, sometimes he can't ejaculate when we have sex or when I give him any kind of stimulation (oral, hands, etc). He blames it on using the massager for so long (started at 14, he's now 26), and that being his only method
of stimulation for so long. I have also related this to me before too, since I can only really climax using my clitoris and not through intercourse (boyfriends have complained about this). I know some people can't through intercourse, which is what I've heard to be completely normal, but I often wonder if I had never got so used to orgasming by clitoral stimulation, would I have been able to through intercourse? I've always wondered...

kaberett Safer space reminder25th-Jun-2013 04:26 pm (UTC)
Hi alleriah8,

I'm writing as a VP maintainer to remind you that VP is a safe space. In the future, it's important to avoid making comments in VP that use the word "crazy" to mean things like "ridiculous" or "extremely" because it contributes to stigmatisation of mental illnesses. We realize you can't edit comments, so we simply ask that you keep this note in mind for the future.

This is a friendly reminder to please review VP's policies to help us make VP a nicer place for everyone. You can follow these links for more information:

--What are VP's rules?
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Please don't think we're scolding you or don't want you here. We issue safe space reminders to help our members acknowledge and include everyone, and to help keep VP a safe space for all. We hope you'll continue to participate in VP with this in mind. Safe space means a lot to many of our members, and it's amazing how much we can help just by being a little more careful with what we say.

If you'd like to talk more, your thoughts are welcome in contact_vp or via email (vpteam@vaginapagina.com). However, we just ask that you not discuss your reminder in this VP thread, since it would draw attention away from the original post.

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brigittefires 21st-Jun-2013 10:00 pm (UTC)
I wasn't able to stand clitoral stimulation for a really long time. Vibrators make it feel numb almost instantaneously, but it's been in the last 4 years or so that I really started being able to feel much at all. Used to be I'd be numb or in pain. Super obnoxious. I did eventually stop letting my partners use vibrators on me, even intermittently (every few months) and after a year or so I finally started to GET what everyone was talking about and why clitoral stimulation is supposed to be pleasurable. Unfortunately that also coincides with an inability to orgasm and especially not vaginally. And crap I just realized that's when I got my IUD in that all that changed for me. Just one more reason I'm getting it out, I guess.
patchworkorange 21st-Jun-2013 11:15 pm (UTC)
It's kind of the same thing as me not being able to climax using a toy but my boyfriend's tongue is just perfect. People like different things.

I bet if you took some time just exploring, not necessarily bringing yourself to orgasm, but opening yourself up to touch and pleasure with fingers, throughout time your sensitivity will return. Just be a little patient with yourself and take some time.

Just my 02 cents :)
ekynas 22nd-Jun-2013 12:42 pm (UTC)
I used to be unable to orgasm without a vibrator at the highest setting---I had been using a vibrator for three or so years at that point. Vibrators are awesome, and I honestly don't regret having started out with one, but it took me almost an entire year before I could just use my fingers on myself, and I think that had a lot to do with the fact that I did totally get used to the intensity of a vibrator. Maybe you can try to spend as much time as you can exploring your body by yourself and see if you can get back any sensitivity? Or it could just be nothing more than different strokes for different folks.
kaberett Safer space reminder25th-Jun-2013 04:23 pm (UTC)
Hi vcantab,

I'm writing as a VP maintainer to remind you that VP is a safe space. Would you mind editing your post so that it does not include the word "lame" to stand in for adjectives like "underwhelming" or "disappointing"? This is because it stigmatises related physical conditions.

This is a friendly reminder to please review VP's policies to help us make VP a nicer place for everyone. You can follow these links for more information:

--What are VP's rules?
--What is "safe space"? What does "empowerment" mean? What does "accountability" look like?
--What is VP's language policy?
--Feminist With Disabilities: Ableist Word Profile


Please don't think we're scolding you or don't want you here. We issue safe space reminders to help our members acknowledge and include everyone, and to help keep VP a safe space for all. We hope you'll continue to participate in VP with this in mind. Safe space means a lot to many of our members, and it's amazing how much we can help just by being a little more careful with what we say.

If you'd like to talk more, your thoughts are welcome in contact_vp or via email (vpteam@vaginapagina.com). However, we just ask that you not discuss your reminder in this VP thread, since it would draw attention away from the original post.

Thanks for understanding.

--alex
for the VP Team
contact_vp

Edited at 2013-06-25 04:24 pm (UTC)
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