7:16 pm - 03/24/2012

Breaking the hymen?

Yesterday was the first time that I tried attempting this
with my bf. I didn't wanted to have sex though, we were just getting each other off 
and I decided that I want to feel his thing halfway inside of me to get it over
with the hymen. It didn't break yet, were still taking time on it. But FUCK
it hurts so bad. It doesn't just feel like a big pinch, it also burns. He's also large down there :/.
We used lube and I was still hurting. Does anybody have any first time "breaking hymen"
stories that they want to share and how you coped with it the first time? How long
did u manage until u can bear the pain? 
anowyn 24th-Mar-2012 11:19 pm (UTC)
We just took it very slow and... I bit his shoulder so hard he had a bruise for months. I didn't mean to!

That was years ago though. Once the hymen breaks future attempts are much easier. :) Just keep it slow, and only at a pace that's comfortable to you, and if the pain just hurts too much just stop and save it for another day. Could he try with fingers instead in the meantime if it hurts too much?
pretendworld_ 24th-Mar-2012 11:20 pm (UTC)
Lube, alcohol and girl on top - that's how I did it. Not saying it's a sure fire way to break it but it worked for me. Have you tried different positions?
wristtattoos 24th-Mar-2012 11:21 pm (UTC)
This reminds me of when I was trying to having sex with my boyfriend for the first time! It hurt so bad that we weren't actually able to until the 3rd time we tried. We used a lot of lube, and he went in little-by-little, slowly. I wasn't expecting it to hurt so much!
ex_swaggerd 24th-Mar-2012 11:35 pm (UTC)
I broke my own hymen by accident. I was trying to masturbate when suddenly I felt a sharp pinch and my entire hand was covered in blood. I thought I had torn something I shouldn't have and panicked for the following two days since it really hurt to pee. After that the pain went away and I realized what I'd done. Didn't make masturbating any easier, though.
tlx43n 24th-Mar-2012 11:44 pm (UTC)
I did something similar when I was around 15. I used something like a dildo and felt a pinch, saw blood at the tip. It bled for 2 more times when I attempted to masterbate and I also spotted when I went to the bathroom but I wasn't on my period at the time and I didn't bled like a period. I thought I broke mines already until it hurts like hell yesterday. It's strange
sobaek 24th-Mar-2012 11:40 pm (UTC)
I think I broke mine without even knowing I did it. I actually have no idea when it happened because I've not had the associated bleeding. I'm just assuming it's broke because I've managed to have sex. I honestly don't know when I broke it, though. Or how. Mystery of life.
I remember when I sorta tried sex with a boyfriend but my completely tensed up, and as far as we managed it freaking hurt so but he had to back off, because my body was giving him a big 'access denied' kind of reaction. Very little actual penetration, no bleeding, but a whole load of no. That hurt because I did not want to have sex and no amount of wanting to get it over and done with would aide the situation.
My first time didn't actually hurt as much as I thought it would in comparison. In fact it barely hurt at all that I can remember. Tequila and actually being really comfortable and actually wanting to definitely helped. Uncomfortable for a few days afterwards but not a horror story. No bleeding, no memorable pain.

Edited at 2012-03-24 11:44 pm (UTC)
anowyn 24th-Mar-2012 11:50 pm (UTC)
Sometimes things like bike riding or horseback riding can do it. Maybe that's how? Either way... lucky! haha :)
sobaek 24th-Mar-2012 11:55 pm (UTC)
I know but I don't do either so it's a bit bizarre. Hahahaha but lucky all the same.
lemonandgrapes 25th-Mar-2012 02:19 am (UTC)
same here. I was expecting my first time to hurt, and I didn't bleed or anything, and it was pretty comfortable. I don't remember ever breaking it and bleeding, but I've had sex a lot now, so it must be gone.

strivingtoohard 25th-Mar-2012 12:27 am (UTC)
It took us two tries over two days before he was able to break mine and penetrate me completely. OMG, It hurt so bad. After that, it was a lot easier for him to get inside me but it still hurt for about the next ten times.
mewsicfreak 25th-Mar-2012 12:37 am (UTC)
I must have unknowingly broken mine being so sporty as a kid, because when I finally had sex for the first time (at 17), there was no pain at all. None whatsoever. It actually felt nice, right off the bat. No bleeding or anything :-D
somniumdraconae 25th-Mar-2012 02:08 am (UTC)
I busted mine crotching a balance beam when I was younger and did gymnastics. It didn't hurt that much more than any other time I'd crotched the beam, except I knew something had happened because I bled after. It wasn't a lot of blood, so I didn't think much of it until several years later when I went to have PIV sex for the first time and.... no pain! Lucky me!
reflectionriver 25th-Mar-2012 02:51 am (UTC)
Mine broke the first time I had intercourse sex with my boyfriend. I had read online that being on top made the experience easier, so we did it that way. We managed to get him inside most of the way when I suddenly felt a little tear and a huge wave of relief. I realized immediately what had happened.There was no bleeding in my case.

So, I guess I would suggest trying to be on top, so that way you have control over how much penetration happens, and what feels good and comfortable. Don't be discouraged! Good luck! :)
kikai_saigono 25th-Mar-2012 03:07 am (UTC)
I didn't have one I think, because there wasn't any bleeding, but it did hurt. Just take it slow! You may not be able to do it comfortably for the first few times (third time was the charm for me for it to stop hurting!)
archangelbeth 25th-Mar-2012 04:05 am (UTC)
Between a lot of fingering and my deliberate masturbation with penetrative objects (some of which started out narrow and got girthier)... The first time was me-on-top, and that was ow and didn't work. I think that was the waterbed? Waterbeds are not good for me-on-top. Non-waterbeds are only eh, though, generally.

Second try, shortly after the first, was fellow-on-top, and I was really turned on, and that was... a stretchy achey thing, like if you have sore muscles.

I'd suggest more fingering -- working up to more fingers -- so that you can be turned on enough that your natural endorphins will blunt discomfort at least somewhat. Trying to make it not hurt, by going gradually and slowly (and also on your own, because you are the best at knowing when something hurts and needs a shift in position or whatever), is what I'd try first, so you don't associate sex with pain.

Good luck!
chase_glasslace 25th-Mar-2012 06:41 am (UTC)
I'm pretty sure I broke mine inserting a tampon when I was about 15. It used to be really painful inserting them and I could never go the whole way, so one time I locked myself in the bathroom and kept trying until it happened. There was a sudden ... I dunno, I could definitely feel the tear, and then there was a fair bit of blood that didn't look at all like menstrual fluid. It hurt enough that I cried out, even though I was really trying to be quiet, and I was fairly shaky afterwards. But when it was done, it was done. No pain after that. I've never had PIV sex or inserted anything larger than a tampon so I don't know for certain that it broke then, but I'm pretty sure.

It's different for everyone, but maybe you could try breaking it on your own. You're the person best capable of getting a good position and you wouldn't also have the pressure of a sexual engagement to add to things. But whichever way you go, the more relaxed you are the easier it will be.
bleed_peroxide 25th-Mar-2012 02:39 pm (UTC)
He asked if I wanted him to break it slower, or just do it in one go - I opted for the latter. As quick as possible seemed the best way to go.

I'll be straight-up: the first few seconds are hell. I left scratch marks in his back because it was the only way I could think to relieve some of that "OH FUCK OW OW OW" pain. But he's usually all the way in despite it not feeling that way, and if he knows what he's doing, you quickly get distracted by other things. ♥

Just have him thrust kind of slower for the first few minutes until you feel comfortable with increasing the pace and when it starts feeling more pleasurable. It might take a few times before it goes in without as much pain, but just take it slow and use plenty of lube if you're not well-lubricated on your own.
britt_pinkie 26th-Mar-2012 04:34 am (UTC)
You know, I honestly don't remember the pain as much as how much I bled! I know it was painful, I mean, I remember biting his shoulder, and thinking, "Okay, I hope it feels good soon" (and it did, eventually), but when we were done, there was blood all over the sheets. I actually bled the next two times we had sex that weekend, too! I was super embarrassed- I mean, being a virgin and losing "it" already comes with a complex, but when you're bleeding all over the sheets, it's even worse. Thankfully, the guy I was dating at the time was really sweet about it. I do remember being sore the next day- but we also had sex three times in a 24 hour period, so it may just have been from that ;)

Interestingly enough, my boyfriend and I were having sex a few months ago (and it's been 3 years since my first time, and I've obviously had plenty of sex between now and then, haha) and tried doggy style for the first time and I started bleeding again (definitely not as much as my first time, but when we finished, he realized there was blood on his penis, and blood on my thighs)...which made me wonder if a piece of my hyman was still intact. We tried the position again afterwards and I never bled again, so I wonder...

I just hope everyone else isn't as much of a bleeder as I was :/...super awkward!

Edited at 2012-03-26 04:36 am (UTC)
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