8:36 pm - 12/17/2010

Scar Tissue

Hello, all. I'm new here. Quick basics: Kayla, 22 year old wife, mom, & psychology student. All right, boring stuff over, onto the problem.

I tried looking through the tags and whatnot and didn't see anything related. Feel free to correct me if I overlooked!

After having my son and waiting out the whole time suggested by the doctor to start having sex again, it has now been nearing 2 years since sex has been "normal" for us. It'S so not fair and it's this gigantic viscious cycle and knowing the problem hasn't entirely helped as much as I'd hoped considering the doctor said "You just have to work through it."

So what is the problem? Maybe the post's subject gave you an idea, but basically, there's scar tissue down there from when I gave birth. Basically an added layer of skin making me smaller than I already am. So NOT awesome. Not for me, anyway, haha the smaller/tighter part feels amazing for my husband lmao. Me? Pain. Lots of pain. So much that I tend to not even want to have sex. Obviously, this is a problem.

Now, as I've said, my doctor told me there's pretty much nothing we can do except work through it and stretch me out again. Well, when it hurts more now than my very first time....it's kind of hard to just do it. Like, my plan after coming back from the doctor was "Just do it. Even if I'm not super into it, do it so we can get to the fun again." This did not work as well as planned.

So, new plan? Use a vibrator/dildo that is slightly smaller than my husband to help. Again, not working so well. I told my husband if he could just detach his penis, maybe this would work out easier, but he seemed against finding a way to make that happen, hah!

I'm thinking another part of the problem is me not getting/staying very wet. We use a ridiculous amount of lube so that's not the deal.

So has anyone else ever had this scar tissue problem before and do you have any other suggestions? I want my sexlife back!
archangelbeth 18th-Dec-2010 04:00 am (UTC)
I would get a new doctor, to start with. Did you have tearing/an episiotomy? You may want to have a second opinion on whether you were stitched up properly. Some doctors do a tight stitch "for the husband." (If it's really bad, there is probably the option of reconstructive surgery to fix things.)

If it's a normal scar... I had some abscesses/blood blisters on the posterior (nearer to the spine) wall of my vagina (which was pretty weird, because I'd had a c-section!). They had to be lanced, which was a rather painful process since the local anesthetic didn't seem to really help much. O:p Anyway, after that, I'd say it took about 2 years for the initial entry -- which bumped right on the scars -- to stop having an initial "ow!" feeling.

But. New doctor time, I think. Having painful sex is a potential way to develop vaginismus, an involuntary "blink" reflex of the vaginal muscles in an effort to prevent penetration. Which makes penetration hurt worse, which strengthens the reflex, which... goes in a vicious circle, yes. A doctor who says, "You just have to work through it" is being dismissive, disrespectful, and unprofessional. I would not trust that doctor with your healthcare.

You may wish to consult a pelvic pain specialist if you feel you may already have developed vaginismus -- and even if the scarring is within the realm of normal, you may wish to look into the methods of treating vaginismus as well, for slower, gentler stretching.

Good luck!
aimeelynn06 18th-Dec-2010 04:42 am (UTC)
I know that in general, hard massage can break up scar tissue. Is your scar tissue primarily on the perineum area of your vagina? Is it mainly at the opening? Did you tear during childbirth or have an episiotomy? Did you get stitches?

Maybe you could, every day, just press on it. If it's the perineum area, lube up your thumb, lay back and insert. Don't move until you totally relax. Then press down a little bit but not to the point of sharp pain. Press until you relax. Just do it for a few minutes a day.

I also use a dilator that's a little smaller than my partner's penis. Maybe you are using yours too vigorously or you need to start with a smaller one. Please don't keep doing it if it hurts.

But be really careful, because if you teach your vagina that insertion= pain, you could cause a lot more problems, like Beth said. I would really suggest seeing a pelvic pain specialist and doing some physical therapy. I have vaginismus and after a year of physical therapy, if I do my stretches faithfully, I can have almost pain- free piv. If you live in the bottom half of Ohio, I'd be happy to refer you to my doctor. :)
aimeelynn06 18th-Dec-2010 04:46 am (UTC)
Also, re: lube. Even if I get super wet to begin with, I can't stay wet, especially if it hurts. What kind of lube do you use? I find that water- based lubes tend to dry up and get sticky, making it worse. If you use condoms, you could try a silicone lube. I love the "pink" brand. If you don't use condoms, try coconut oil. I've found that those two are the best for not drying up, especially since I literally can never stay wet with my own lube.
neek_love 18th-Dec-2010 08:44 am (UTC)
This is very second hand advice, but I saw a medical show where a young woman had the same problem. She had, like, a ridge of scar tissue at the back side of her vaginal entrance. The doctor she saw prescribed some kind of cream for daily massage application. The combination of massage and the cream seemed very effective for her.
Geez that sounds vague! But maybe if you suggested something like this to your doc he'd know what I was talking about, lol :)
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