9:10 am - 10/05/2009

Okay. Back. Negative tests. Still no period. Day 32/33 of cycle

I posted here a few days ago about not getting my period. Well, it's still not here and I'm really worried. I had a late cycle last month, and I HAD all my period symptoms. My cervix is really low like it should be but I'm beginning to lose hope, honestly. I drank Ginger tea to speed up the process last night. But so far, nothing. My last period started on September 2/3. There were 31 days between my august-september cycle. But doing the math, I'm late again. I had sex during my period (4th of September) but now am REALLY confused. All my symptoms were there. My boobs felt big and now they just feel like they're deflating. What's worse is that I just woke up with a stomach ache :/ and nausea. I ate before I went to sleep which gives me a stomach ache sometimes when I wake up.

I already took a pregnancy test Thursday, yesterday, and this morning with my FMU. All negative. I think my
diet is really messed up and I didn't get my period when I lost a Lot of weight due to an eating disorder about 6 years ago. My cycle had been TOTALLY normal until I got to school. I don't know if it's because I'm stressed out or I'm actually pregnant or if I have some sort of hormone imbalance or what. I'm honestly really upset about my period being late and I don't get it at all. What if I don't get it this month? I tested way after the 19 day timeframe. And it's negative...so where is it? I'm really frustrated. And I honestly don't even know what's wrong, and it's driving me crazy!
archangelbeth 5th-Oct-2009 01:35 pm (UTC)
During college finals, when I didn't really think I was that stressed... I went sixty-eight days -- 68! -- between the end of one period and the beginning of the next. Not pregnant! I was amazed, frankly.

If you are under stress, if your diet is messed up, if you are even more stressed from it being late (if it was such a late ovulation that it would've happened right around when you started going, "OH CRAP! PERIOD, WHERE ARE YOU?!?"...), all these make it entirely possible it's just AWOL for no good reason.

However, there's a small chance (I don't know what other contraceptive behaviors you might've been doing on the 4th, but from timing alone, it's just a small chance because it would have required a very early ovulation) of pregnancy, and you're clearly stressing over it.

Can you go to a doctor and ask for 1) a blood test for pregnancy? And 2) a test for any underlying hormonal or vitamin deficiency condition that might be causing your periods to go a bit wonky? (I immediately think of thyroid, of course, so that's a TSH test if you've no other symptoms; I'm sure there are others that other people can suggest.) The first should wind up de-stressing you a lot, and the second might uncover any non-stress contributors to your periods being odd for you.

But could well be stress. *beth peers at her own calendar* Yeah, mine's either "any day now" (and I had the PMS to suggest it, last week), or the EVIL of middle-school pre-dawn wake-up is going to stress it into hiding. I wouldn't be surprised either way.

(If your contraceptive method(s) isn't/aren't reassuring you... would you like to ask about any other techniques/methods that might make you less concerned for missing a period?)

Crossing fingers that you're reassured soon!
collision 5th-Oct-2009 01:43 pm (UTC)
I don't think they offer blood tests at my school to detect pregnancy. I cannot go to my doctor for one because then my mom is gonna start asking questions. We use condoms and withdrawal together. I have spent the past few days miserable because I don't know where it is honestly. My bf isn't worried about it so basically I have to deal with it on my own. Idk why the hormone problems would just start now though :/// I'm walking maybe a mile and a half every day. My diet sucks because well I'm a poor college student. But last year it was worse and I still had regular periods. Ugh.
archangelbeth 5th-Oct-2009 02:45 pm (UTC)
Might be able to check a planned parenthood for blood testing... Hrm. Depends on what you've got in the area.

But! Okay, condoms, withdrawal, and last had sex at a time when you were probably not terribly fertile, yes? (Period sex is not automatically safe, but it's less likely to intersect with ovulation.)

Hormone problems start when hormone problems start -- could be stress making them unhappy beyond their ability to withstand. My thyroid got worse after my pregnancy, though oddly, I think it may've been giving a last gasp during my pregnancy, as I don't recall being any more tired than usual -- and maybe even less-so. A LJ-friend's adrenals finally got to the point where they couldn't manage to function normally anymore until she took some medicine and changed her diet. Could be that it's the constant stress that's messing with you.

I'd suggest taking a breath and reassuring yourself that, with negative pregnancy tests and a low-risk sexual encounter, the chances of you being pregnant are TINY. I'd also suggest telling your partner that, whether or not he's worried, you are and he needs to find some way to support you so that you're not having extra stress all alone. Remind him, perhaps, that stress can delay ovulation, which delays periods, which makes you stress more -- so if he can help reduce your stress somehow, it's all to the better. Tell him what you need to hear from him, to feel better, maybe?

For that matter... What do you need to hear from him? Do you need a hug, a "If you're ever pregnant, I'll be there to support your decision"? Do you need a "If it ever happened, I'd marry you"? Or a "If it happened, I promise I'll drive you to the clinic and be a stable rock so you can deal with your emotions"? Guys are frequently not taught how to be supportive partners -- the media is all into the bewildered guy with the emotionally-mysterious girlfriend -- and they're rarely taught how to read emotional cues[1]. Sometimes it takes a Clue By Four of telling a guy "I am stressed, and I'm going to be more stressed when you just ignore my worries. I need you to do [something else!] instead, to help me unstress and relax and feel secure that everything's going to be fine."

[Footnote 1: And if they're good at either, popular media mocks them as "probably gay." Can you tell I'd like to state popular media out on fire-ant hills?]

*offers a hug*
collision 5th-Oct-2009 03:01 pm (UTC)
I know the planned parenthood in my area doesn't offer blood tests. I honestly don't think I'm pregnant but I am not totally sure (how do I pose that correctly, lol). He and I have been fighting a lot lately and I guess he is part of the stress which is why we haven't had sex more this month (something I got a hard time for this weekend, sadly). He thinks I'm being crazy, mainly because my period was late last month too....but not this late. I track my cervical positioning and it's been low which usually happens right before my period, but it doesn't happen and then just stay that way, it usually bleeds after that. Not to mention that I tried inducing it with vitamin C (failed :/) and Ginger tea last night (then my microwave broke). I dunno what's up. I don't even think if I was pregnant that it would be from the sex this month. We had sex last month the day I was expected to ovulate and we used the same protection. I guess I'm just paranoid about it. I can't see how a test wouldn't be accurate almost a month or a month and a half (if I count the month before) after sex? Blah. I wish I could make a deal with my vagina so it is good to me haha
archangelbeth 5th-Oct-2009 03:38 pm (UTC)
That parses, don't worry. You don't think you are, but there's this little niggling "what if" going on in the back of your head. (Been there, tested for that, the negative was accurate.)

Because I am truthful, there are some very few people who don't excrete hCG in a prompt manner. However, if you didn't have a condom oops at either time? Not likely to be your case. [Look at the stats: you'd have to 1) be one of those rare people, 2) have had decidual bleeding, 3) had it enough to fool you into thinking it's a period, and 4) had to have had a condom oops without realizing it. Sure, it's possible, but so is rolling a die and getting 50 6s in a row, or flipping a coin and getting 50 heads in a row. None of those things is likely.]

Stress going on? Sounds like you're having ungodly gobs of it, plus another female-bodied person around, plus poor student diet. Stress known for delaying ovulation? You betcha. Which horse would you bet on here? O:>

So I'm on with trying to quell that nagging little "what if" voice. Remember, humans are biologically inclined to think strongly about rare, but very threatening events. Keeps people from getting complacent because the sabertooth tiger hasn't been behind that rock 99 times out of 100 -- since the 100th time, the tiger eats ya if you weren't paying attention. If you could find a way to reassure yourself with a Plan, so it wouldn't be a tiger eating you, but would instead be a "Okay, if I am, then I can do this, and these resources will let me, and it will suck but I will not be tiger-chow" situation, that might help. It might also help to remind yourself that... it's not a tiger, and it's okay to be more laid-back about something with a low probability. Depends on your individual mindset, really.

You maaaaaaay want to evaluate a relationship where you're not getting emotional support, but are instead getting dismissed as "crazy" and getting flack for lack of sex. There are kinder ways of saying, "Hon, you're over-reacting," and better ways to offer reassurance. If you two can't communicate about this, such that you can find a way to have emotional needs met without draining the fellow entirely dry (a risk, if he doesn't have an emotional support structure too), then I don't see a good future for the relationship. O:( I am not saying "OMG break up nao1!1!" -- but I am saying that a relationship without communication and emotional support is more likely to be drama-filled and stressy than it is to be a good relationship. (Unless you really want drama-filled and stressy, of course; just make sure your partner consents to that, yes?)
collision 5th-Oct-2009 03:52 pm (UTC)
In regards to your last paragraph: I have made that perfectly clear to him. He has a short temper and he has to work that out for himself. I told him that he needs to communicate that with me and all, and he agrees. But, part of it, he said, was simply having common sense (wtf, whatever). The problem was solved, but it took a while to reach the conclusion that he needs to talk to me about things instead of just call me crazy and stupid.

I know the odds are slim! I did have a full period last month, I just wrestle with the "what is going on with my body" problem lately. I am hoping this week/the next couple of days are good to me and that my period finally arrives. It'll be a load of stress off of my shoulders, and I could finally relax. Funny how something that many people hate having is something I'm actually really wanting right now... :\
archangelbeth 5th-Oct-2009 04:20 pm (UTC)
I get to a point -- usually when PMS and the anticipation are starting to wear on me (though at least the PMS is much reduced, usually, when I take my B) -- where I'm both dreading and "get it over with already!" at my period. I'm about there right now. Bleah.

*offers the internet hug and hopes that you get less stress soon*
collision 5th-Oct-2009 07:17 pm (UTC)
Well good news. I think it is starting!
archangelbeth 5th-Oct-2009 07:23 pm (UTC)
Mine too! ...YOU HAVE MY SCHEDULE??? O_O
debart 5th-Oct-2009 01:40 pm (UTC)
One word - STRESS!

Do NOT get flipped out about this. It seems that you've hit the trifecta for amenorrhea - low weight (I take it you're still thin?) stress and bad diet.

Think of it this way: Not having a period at this point, is your body telling you that a pregnancy would not be a good thing, so it's taken that ability away. The more you worry about this, the more stress you add.. and it spirals.

Enjoy the break from tampons, cramps, bloating and all the rest. You'll likely have another thirty years of periods and believe me, they get old after a few decades.

Give yourself a few more days, take one more pregnancy test to be sure, and if it's negative, relax.

collision 5th-Oct-2009 01:47 pm (UTC)
I am thin yeah but no thinner than I was last year when I lost about 10 pounds due to school related stress, missing home/bf, and all that. I really remember ovulating this month because I keep track of my CM. I just like don't get it. I live with somebody new and she is crazy in a bad way. I have so many things to stress me out. I just don't know how this time is different than what happened last year when my cycles were regular :/
debart 5th-Oct-2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
Another woman in the living situation? Oh ho! The plot thickens!

Your body could ALSO be going through a re-adjustment to HER hormonal presence. It does happen, and is a scientifically obscure, but known phenomenon. If 'chemically' she is an alpha female (you BET such a thing exists) your hormones will be in flux around hers.

This may be part of why she's crazy, and your hormones may be tweaking her as well.

My best friend after high school was an alpha - I couldn't be in a car with her if the windows were closed - I'd start getting woozy and a swimmy head after half an hour - it kinda sucked, 'cos we really did like to hang out with each other, but just couldn't be in closed spaces together. Turns out years later it was discovered she had PCOS and part of it included the hormone swings that'd put me over the rails. It was totally weird.

archangelbeth 5th-Oct-2009 03:01 pm (UTC)
If 'chemically' she is an alpha female (you BET such a thing exists) your hormones will be in flux around hers.

Yes, I'm also a believer that some people are more sensitive to pheromones, and some people may be more phenomenally dominant.
collision 5th-Oct-2009 03:08 pm (UTC)
I hope that's what's going on because this is driving me crazy. I know she does too though haha. I'm trying to move out because she is driving me insane and my period problems only started since I got to this rooming situation but it could be anything. She is kind of a diva so I don't know if that would make her dominant, LOL. I wish there was a test that told you when your period is supposed to happen because I really need one. Haha
tsemed_chemed 5th-Oct-2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
32/33 days isn't much to be concerned about; most of my cycles are that length. Sorry, I haven't checked for your old post to see if you normally have a much shorter cycle, but 33 days is well within the normal range of monthly menstrual cycles.
collision 5th-Oct-2009 03:04 pm (UTC)
My last cycle was around 31/32 days, but prior to this, it had always been 28.
ananasparachute 6th-Oct-2009 01:38 am (UTC)
My cycle is irregular all the time. I've had all the tests, and mine is just like that for no reason. Stress and genetics have a hand in it.
I would go to your doc if you're worried and get blood tests, but it's likely fine; worrying about your period could also delay it (stress). Mother Nature is tricky!
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