11:20 am - 08/24/2009

sensitive clitoris

My clitoris is very sensitive, and it is uncomfortable/even somewhat painful, if my boyfriend touches it directly. It feels good if he stimulates it by rubbing it indirectly, but I cannot stand for it to be touched. Even with oral, I have to constantly tell him that he is being too rough, even when he is hardly touching me, I don't even think it is possible for his to be more sensitive.
I would really like to enjoy oral sex and using his fingers down there, as I am unable to have intercourse for the time being.

For anyone else out there that is sensitive (hopefully I'm not the only one!), what are some ways it feels good for you?
I tried googling this and everything, but I haven't really been able to find anything.
I guess we should just keep trying new things until we find something that works, but I'd like to hear what some other people do so that I can try it.

So can anyone relate? Give me some advice? It would be greatly appreciated :)
sageautumn 24th-Aug-2009 03:58 pm (UTC)
I am horridly sensitive. The best thing I've found is very very slow foreplay, with a TON of very indirect touching even before the indirect touching of the clit. Lots of breast play, lots of skin play, lots of vulva play before hand.

Also... I know I had to re-train my body to accept touch. After being touched too directly/roughly again and again... it was hard for my body (my clit) to relax enough to accept that touch can be pleasing. Instead, I was tense without even knowing it, because I was expecting/waiting for the events to turn from "ohhhh, this is nice" to "OUCH, I can deal with this it's soooorta okay, I'm supposed to like this" to "Ow!Ow!ow!ow!"... ...because events ALWAYS went that way. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it was hard to find the trust in my partner that they wouldn't go too fast, and that they'd listen to my responses when they were going too fast and slow down.

Which is hard to do--the retraining... and hard for them, because what they think of as fast and what is fast to me... ...is not the same. Plus often it's easy to go slow for a bit, then once fingers/tongues/something is involving a clit... then it switches to FAST. Which is not good for me, it hurts.

But the combo of those two things? They did/have worked... along with my partners finding other places on my body that bring pleasure, are relaxing, and make me yearn for more.

And I've found... I can truly take touch/sex rough. Very rough, even. It's just a matter of how long it takes to build up to that point.

Sorry I wrote a book. My advice? SLOW WAY DOWN, and involve LOTS of other body parts.
1girl 24th-Aug-2009 04:03 pm (UTC)
You could try having him go down on you while you are wearing panties. That way you can have a layer of cloth between him and your clitoris, and he can still slip his fingers around the sides of the underwear for insertion.

Heck, I don't have a sensitive clitoris, but I love it when my boyfriend touches me through my underwear. I like the fact that it is soft and teasing. I almost like it better than no underwear, quite frankly.
lynzee_nicole 24th-Aug-2009 06:43 pm (UTC)
I have a very very sensitive clit, too. I've never enjoyed oral. But my current boyfriend is the first person I've been with who is patient, and doesn't get frustrated if he can't just dive in there and get me off. I'd suggest lots of teamwork and communication. When he's down there, be very direct with instruction. If something feels good, tell him. If something is too much, tell him. Tell him to pay more attention to the rest of your body as well, and to stimulate the rest of your vulva/vagina. Make sure you are VERY aroused before he even looks at your clit.

I've found that it feels really good for him to play with the top of my clitoral hood, because it stimulates my clit without directly touching it. Also, putting his palm flat against my vulva and massaging with moderate pressure stimulates without direct contact.

I also second the idea of trying with your panties. Either way, you may just be one of those people who doesn't enjoy oral, and that's ok. There are plenty of other things to do!
ghetto_bridget 25th-Aug-2009 12:43 am (UTC)
I don't have an overly sensitive clit, but I have had to stop the boy-thing and explain to him that the amount of pressure he was using was painful. (And also use one of the lines from the Vagina Monologues and tell him that the clit has twice the nerve endings that the penis does)

When he just wasn't getting the message, I stopped him and showed him the amount of pressure I'd like vs. what he was doing on his shoulder (I pressed kind of hard, and then massaged in small circles to show the difference). It might also help if you show him what you like/what you do to yourself on your clit and while he watches.
This page was loaded Aug 29th 2014, 10:18 pm GMT.