6:44 pm - 03/24/2009

Positions that are good for bad hips?

To start, while visiting a friend's house for Spring Break I discovered the joy that is the shower massager. I just wish I could have one at home or at my dorm! I would shower like twice a day. :P

Random: So the other day I noticed that after orgasming, my hearing is sometimes...dimmer. Like the feeling you get when driving up a mountain or something like that. Only it doesn't seem to go away from trying to pop my ears - it just fades away and in a minute or so I hear fine again. Why is this? I'm pretty sure I don't hold my breath, which is the only reason I could think of.

The big question:
My boyfriend and I have been doing a little experimentation with positions - he's my first and we've only been having sex for about a month, so I'm inexperienced and while he's more experienced he's dreadfully uninventive in bed! We tried spooning (at my insistence - he seemed to think it was only for anal), but couldn't make it work. I REALLY want to try having sex this way, but we just can't seem to line up right. Is there a certain way for us to lay or something?

I have bad hips (was born with my hips kinda funny so they bother me a lot, even though I'm only 22), so sometimes I feel like our position-options are very limited. So I'd really like to get spooning down at least once, to give it a try! Or maybe there are other positions that won't put stress on my hips? Even missionary hurts after a while, having my legs up like that for too long. And anything doggy-related seems to be out of the question.
brand0new0day 24th-Mar-2009 11:40 pm (UTC)
Spoons is something that seems like it would be relatively simple, but is in reality quite a difficult position to get to work. The complication is compounded if one or both partners are overweight (Not to imply! It's just an interesting fact).

It took us about 5-6 tries to get it right. Eventually, it took lots of patience and a good bit of lube to get started. Focus more on pressing your hips together at first and snuggle into each other once you get started.

I hope this helps. :)
opheliasmusing 25th-Mar-2009 12:11 am (UTC)
omg... i thought i was the only one who would occasionally lose their hearing post-sex... basically, i know it was a MIND-blowing orgasm if that happens. it's almost that same sensation when your ears ring after a concert. i always notice it happens for me during an intense, longer-than-usual orgasm... one where my face usually hurts to some degree from scrunching it up so tight.

have you tried sitting on your partner's lap while they sit up in a chair, or on the edge of the bed? if you face your partner, they can lift you around the waist and take some of the pressure off there. and if you face away, it's all the joy of doggstyle, except now you're doing the work, lol. if you just keep your legs 90° to your torso and bounce, you'll feel the pressure/burn more in your quads and glutes than your hips.
wannabepunkster 25th-Mar-2009 12:12 am (UTC)
i don't have any suggestions but i wanted to comment that my ears get itchy on the inside when i get excited hah!
paraxeni 25th-Mar-2009 12:14 am (UTC)
I go a bit deaf after orgasm, but I can see better. This is great for me as I'm partially sighted heheh. I've tried the old "Beloved, make me come so I can read my messages!" thing but she's having none of it. Damn!

As for the hips all I can say is pillows, pillows, pillows. I have a neurological disorder that causes awful joint pain, and my missus has pernicious anaemia related joint and nerve damage, so when we're feeling a bit gimpifIed we have to get creative! Everyone has pillows in their house, or cushions. Use them creatively. Doggy style on it's own is usually a no-go for me, but lying over a bunch of pillows raises me up, supports me, and lets me be lazy ;) Just experiment, see what works for you and your Boy.

For the spooning, maybe you could try sitting in his lap and letting him enter you like that, then gently move onto your side with him following you. It also seems to work better if the penetrating partner lies behind, and also a bit further down than the receiving partner. If holding your legs wide is too painful on your side, make it so you're near the footboard of the bed if you have one, and rest the top foot there, or get him to hold your leg up, or even just shove a cushion or rolled up blanket between your legs from the knees down. That way he can still slide in, but you can stay comfy.
darkserena 25th-Mar-2009 01:23 am (UTC)
We tried him laying farther down than me, but I think the problem is in arching/sticking my butt out enough. We will have to try the sitting and slowing moving to laying down!
paraxeni 25th-Mar-2009 02:22 am (UTC)
If only sex was as easy as it looks on screen, eh? Yep, arch your back, stick out that butt and go for it! Sex is sooo ridiculously stupid and undignified sometimes it surprises me that we aren't extinct!
shil 25th-Mar-2009 12:21 am (UTC)
I find the key with spooning is to really stick your butt out and arch your back as much as you can. Also, if you're having trouble getting his penis in you, try leaning forward so you're not actually cuddling the upper parts of your bodies at first. And I usually keep my legs closed while spooning because it makes it even more intense, but throwing your top leg back over his legs can be good too (probably less so if your hips are a bit wonky).

Another good one is you lying flat on your stomach with your legs closed and him on top of you. I know it sounds weird or possibly impossible, but it actually rocks and should be comfortable for you. For this one it's easiest to get it in in kinda a doggy type position and then lie down.
jazzycat0818 25th-Mar-2009 01:11 am (UTC)
This comment is basically everything I was going to type out. SO I will just say that I agree with EVERYTHING that this person wrote.
darkserena 25th-Mar-2009 01:33 am (UTC)
The laying on my tummy one is another one I want to try at some point! I like a lot of movement. Though the boy would probably be sad that it limits his access to boobs!
archangelbeth 25th-Mar-2009 12:37 am (UTC)
I don't know about the hearing... Blood and neurons are doing odd things, so... who knows!

For spooning... One (er, the female-bodied one) really has to arch one's back to make it work. It may work better to do a "T" sort of position instead, like sideways doggie, or a kind of Y shape... Hard to explain!

You can also lie flat on your back, while your partner lies on his side, at right-angles to you, with your legs draped over him, joined at the obvious joining point...

You might also want to look into sex cushions! (http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/cushions.html -- has illustrative pictures, so Not Safe For Work -- is one URL. There are others, such as http://www.pillowtalk.net/shop-cushion-sets.html , and you can check around for prices. I googled on sex cushions.) Draping over a firm cushion to take the pressure off your hips might allow a variation of doggy-style.

I hope you find some useful positions!
uglydragonfly 25th-Mar-2009 12:55 am (UTC)
t may work better to do a "T" sort of position instead, like sideways doggie, or a kind of Y shape

This, exactly! I've haven't been able to get spoons to work, but "sideways doggie" (90 degree-ish bend at the hips, penetration from behind) works well if the bed is big enough and is pretty awesome. All the fun of doggie-style, with less effort! I also highly recommend the you lie on your back, he lies on his side position archangelbeth described (I think I've heard it called t-square position?). That's another one of my favorite low-impact positions.

I hope you find something that works for you!
darkserena 25th-Mar-2009 01:29 am (UTC)
Aww, we have to live with twin-sized beds while at school, and only have a couch while we're at his house. (I'm not allowed to have anyone over my house, which is disappointing because I have a big waterbed!)
darkserena 25th-Mar-2009 01:27 am (UTC)
Lack-of-money keeps us from getting any special pillows, but we have a few regular pillows so we'll start with that!
spike0313 25th-Mar-2009 01:09 am (UTC)
Have you tried it with you on top?
darkserena 25th-Mar-2009 01:19 am (UTC)
We have indeed. He likes that a lot, but I generally like some more movement than I seem to be able to offer while on top. :P
spike0313 25th-Mar-2009 01:25 am (UTC)
I'm able to get quite a bit of movement on top...usually not sitting straight up but kind of laying down on top? that is awkward to explain

but I know what you mean about more movement:/
darkserena 25th-Mar-2009 01:31 am (UTC)
Yeah, the kinda laying down works for the most part. Just compared to positions like missionary, there's not so much movement. But it makes him happy and gives him a break from all that thrusting, so I don't mind giving up some movement for a while.
airenwoodmoon 25th-Mar-2009 01:29 am (UTC)
I totally get the hearing thing.

The one good way I've managed to do spooning was when I was kind of perpendicular to him; both lying on our sides but my upper body is further away from him than a normal cuddle-spoon, and I'd hook the top leg around his legs a little. I don't know if I even described that right.

It felt amazing and didn't give my hips little spasms.
rachelish 25th-Mar-2009 01:46 am (UTC)
I'm not sure about which positions would be best for hips, but I love this page


It has a ton of animated sex positions (so don't look at it at work or something!) so you could browse through and see what you think might be easy for your hips. And if you're having trouble coming up with different positions in general, you could maybe show the page to your boy and say "pick something new for tonight!"
knivesreturns 25th-Mar-2009 01:49 am (UTC)
Have you tried laying face down? Its easy on my hips and hits the g-spot. ;)
darkserena 25th-Mar-2009 02:04 am (UTC)
Which is why I want to try spooning! Laying face-down is totally next on my list now. :D
altorogue 25th-Mar-2009 02:55 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you for asking the hips question! I don't have a diagnosed hip problem, per se, but it sure as hell feels like there's something wrong sometimes- same with my knees. A few weeks ago I was straddling someone for about twenty minutes, and when I managed to pry myself off, I couldn't walk AT ALL- I had to hobble around for at least five minutes almost crying because I couldn't straighten my legs out. So perhaps me on top on my knees is not a good position when the time comes . . . I'm bookmarking this for future reference!
starzysky 25th-Mar-2009 03:07 am (UTC)
same here!
darkserena 25th-Mar-2009 03:14 am (UTC)
Glad to be of help! My hip-problem was technically fixed by the time I was 4-6 months old, but they still get VERY sore from too much motion (vacuuming is horrible, and even too much walking hurts), and also from being in one position for too long. Even sitting a certain way for too long will hurt.

Like the second or third time we had sex I could NOT move afterward. It wasn't that we were too rough or anything; my hips had locked in place during missionary! It hurt sooooo much.
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