8:40 pm - 01/13/2009

Virgin: Handling speculum vs. having real sex

I actually posted this as an off tangent reply to one of the below posts, but I would like more people's opinion, so I thought I would start a new post for it.

I'm a virgin, but I got my first gyn exam and pap smear done a few days ago. If I can manage the speculum (not sure what size the gyn used though), how well will I possibly manage penis penetration when I have sex the first time? 
altorogue 14th-Jan-2009 01:46 am (UTC)
Do keep in mind that your mindset in an exam and your mindset during intimacy will probably be very different. I assume you'll be fairly aroused before you try penetration, and a woman's body changes a LOT when she gets aroused. I have issues with tampons on occasion, but I have never had a problem with anything when I'm actually aroused.
funwithrage 14th-Jan-2009 02:09 am (UTC)
Arousal helps a lot. Also, a penis isn't cold and doesn't have the sharp edges and profusion of corners that a speculum does, nor does it pinch your cervix.

For what it's worth, I have to close my eyes and try to remember old song lyrics every time I have a gyno, but I love the cock.
svexsal 14th-Jan-2009 02:11 am (UTC)
I agree with the previous comment - the setting is totally different [hopefully, unless you have a doctor/patient fetish, then carry on, nothing wrong with that :)] and you would be much more relaxed, much more willing to accept penetration.
darness 14th-Jan-2009 02:19 am (UTC)
You should manage it just fine :) A speculum was the only thing I had inserted for MANY years and I always found it uncomfortable. Sex was a completely different and pleasurable thing, thank god :)
archangelbeth 14th-Jan-2009 02:24 am (UTC)
Different angles, different context, different shapes... On the other hand, it certainly bodes well for you to be able to relax! With sufficient foreplay, PIV is likely to be quite nice for you. (IIRC my first time, once we ditched girl-on-top (did not work! ow for us both!), there was some discomfort, but I was turned-on enough that it was pretty much drowned out in the endorphins.)
imnotyourstarx 14th-Jan-2009 02:31 am (UTC)
you'll be fine, promise. the speculum is much more traumatic. first of all, it pulls your vaginal opening open in a weird way, unlike a penis which usually slides in nice and smooth. its not that a speculum is bigger (well, it is) but its such a strange shape. second, youre not exactly aroused and desiring that speculum, so its harder to get it in. speculum sizes are pretty standard. i mean, they have ones for really tiny children, like 5 year olds that have yeast infections, but those arent used for adult women, or even teenagers.

in conclusion, i think youll be ok.
actorgrl04 14th-Jan-2009 02:32 am (UTC)
good question! I got my first pap last december and it wasn't too bad. had sex for the first time this year and it didn't hurt. so i guess if you don't mind that pap, then depending on the dude, sex shouldn't be too painful. but its different for everyone!
literarygirl 14th-Jan-2009 04:06 am (UTC)
I agree with what the other posters have already said. For me, neither the virginal pelvic exam or first time sex was painful at all. In fact, my then-boyfriend (now husband) jokingly asked later on if I really was a virgin. :)

I think that there can be a stigma, or at the very least, an assumption that the first time is always going to hurt. It really depends on several factors.

For both experiences, the most important thing you can do is communicate, especially if there's any pain.
retrospection_ 14th-Jan-2009 04:06 am (UTC)
when i first went to the gyno, i was a virgin and i screamed and she couldn't get the adult sized speculum in. At all.

So she got the child size one and all was fine.

I lost my virginity not more than a few DAYS later and there was NO PROBLEM with that fitting. Like everyone said above, arousal helps a LOT
jadeserenity 14th-Jan-2009 04:08 am (UTC)
Lots of foreplay and lots of lube should lead to a good first experience. Have a few orgasms before even trying penetration, it really helps a lot.
awriterswindow 14th-Jan-2009 05:33 am (UTC)
It's a different thing. I think you'd actually have a little bit more of an accurate feel with a regular sized dildo or something (not one of those crazy ones). You'll be just fine when you have sex.
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