8:14 am - 11/04/2008

Female Refractory Period

Hey everyone!

My partner is one of the (apparently) rare cases of a refractory period in female-bodied people. It's not just a matter of hypersensitivity; he has an actual refractory period in which he cannot orgasm again, usually between 12 and 24 hours. It occurs with masturbation and sex, although sometimes he can masturbate more than once in that period.

Do any of you out there have experience with this, especially when it comes to overcoming or shortening it? We're both determined to make it happen if at all possible.

Thanks in advance!

ETA: In case anyone's wondering, I do have his consent to post this.
skullfuckery 4th-Nov-2008 08:27 am (UTC)
I just wanted to add that I have the same thing. Not as long mind, but a good few hours.
lawlstudent 4th-Nov-2008 08:42 am (UTC)
im sorry, if your partner female or male? its just because you said female-bodied but then referred to your partner as "he" for the rest of your post.

i think as long as your partner has always been that way then maybe thats just his biology and something you have to try to work with... my boyfriend is a once a day or every other day type of guy and unless hes gone a while without sex, he can't orgasm if we do it any more frequently than that. thats just the way he is.

as for girls, sometimes its hard for women to orgasm at all... so i'd think it wouldn't be too unusual for women not to be able to orgasm that frequently?
brooklebee 4th-Nov-2008 08:45 am (UTC)
I'm not the OP, but I think that the OP probably was using accurate language--meaning that hir* partner is male, but female bodied (transgendered, in other words). Does that make sense?

*hir is a non-gendered pronoun, similar to her or his but without denoting someone's gender.
lawlstudent 4th-Nov-2008 08:47 am (UTC)
oh. that makes sense. sorry to the OP about my ignorance! :)
naturalog 4th-Nov-2008 08:51 am (UTC)
Way to pick the right pronouns for me, actually. ;-) Well, okay, technically I prefer per, but still...

But yeah, my partner's a transguy.
vronwe 4th-Nov-2008 08:47 am (UTC)
I think the partner is transgendered. He's male but stuck in a female body.
princess_kessie 4th-Nov-2008 09:57 am (UTC)
I though it was normal that a female-bodied person had a refractory period?! I do - and it ranges from a few hours to a couple of days, depending on the time of the month and other issues. I physically cannot orgasm again, no matter what my husband and I try. But then, I cannot orgasm from penetrative sex, either - only direct clitoral stimulation.

I had no idea I was rare :)

Sorry - I have nothing constructive to add :(
lupie_stardust 4th-Nov-2008 11:48 am (UTC)
Ahahah, this! I thought it was normal. For me, it's anything up to 12 hours, though, so not overwhelmingly long.

Interesting!
naturalog 4th-Nov-2008 12:00 pm (UTC)
Yeah, this is what happens to him, although it's never as long as a couple of days.

Everything I had read said that women never had refractory periods similar to men... and for me, that's not really the case. I can, in my experience, just kind of keep on going and going, which I was under the impression was more of what generally occurred.
preciouslilme 4th-Nov-2008 10:58 am (UTC)
I have a refractory period but not that long and have no idea if it can be changed. If you're trying for multiple orgasms maybe you could do the build up/back off thing a few times to try and make it as powerful as possible?
naturalog 4th-Nov-2008 12:01 pm (UTC)
We can do multiple orgasms, it's just the fact that afterwards, sex is out for a day or so...
malantha 4th-Nov-2008 12:25 pm (UTC)
So.. He can orgasm more than once in a session, but then after his body's calmed down it's 12-24 hours? That's kinda different from "once he's orgasmed, he can't for 12-24 hours"!

I think that's well within normal range either way, but I don't have any advice.
naturalog 4th-Nov-2008 01:24 pm (UTC)
I'm going to try to figure out how to explain it.

We can do multiple orgasms in the sense of, like, orgasm, keep going, less than a minute later, orgasm, but not, like, have sex, watch a movie, have sex again.
xounlabeledxo 4th-Nov-2008 12:26 pm (UTC)
wow, my refractory period for the first few orgasms is like... 30 seconds.

after three orgasms or so, i can't for ... a couple hours?

am i a nympho? haha.

nothing constructive to add really - practice?
h0rsegurrrl 4th-Nov-2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
I'm the same way. I have basically no refractory period between the first 1-4 orgasms, usually, but after that it gets more like 30 seconds between them. After that, I can still do it, it's just really hard.
tornattheelbo 4th-Nov-2008 12:32 pm (UTC)
i used to be one of those people who could -not- orgasm more than once a day, and i gradually got over it through masturbation, by keeping contact with my genitals after i'd had an orgasm, just touching, not stimulating. i used to find that i had a hard time even doing THAT - the sensation was overwhelming, but gradually over time, i got comfortable enough that i could try stimulating again after my orgasm.

sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't..

eventually though i found i could keep on stimulating right through and past orgasm, and now i have no problem orgasming several times during a session.
dayglow 6th-Nov-2008 02:25 am (UTC)
This is what happened to me. In my case, even though I can now orgasm much more easily than I could before (and speaking from anecdotal evidence, I'm a pretty easy-orgasm female) and can get multiples, but oftentime after 2 or 3 my body is just so tired and oversensitized that it's not worth it. And then I can't really peak again until the next day or so.
snowe 4th-Nov-2008 01:35 pm (UTC)
Is he on any medications?
naturalog 4th-Nov-2008 01:38 pm (UTC)
Nope, except for a daily multivitamin.
snowe 4th-Nov-2008 01:41 pm (UTC)
Ok, that's good.

I would advise maybe doing Kegels throughout the day--work those muscles!--and maybe masturbating sometime after sex, but not trying to have an orgasm, to "train" the body to get aroused again.
queensugar 4th-Nov-2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
I have the same thing -- I can't orgasm for at least 18 hours or more after my last one. I've managed to do two in the space of an hour, but it was an extremely painful experience that I did to myself for the sake of research. ;)

Honestly, I have no idea if it's possible to shorten or change that. It's certainly never been possible for me. I wish I had better advice, but I've personally found that with sexual responses, for me at least it's just better to go with what I've got. :)

archangelbeth 4th-Nov-2008 04:11 pm (UTC)
My refractory period (yup, far as I can tell, I've got one) is more like 30 minutes to an hour -- and the second orgasm, if it happens at all, always takes longer, and almost always is weaker and not as entertaining as the first.

To be honest... I just accept that chances are I get one orgasm in a day or so, and work to make that one "count." Lots of long, drawn-out stuff makes me happy. Not rushing to the orgasm, but instead trying to dance around it and not quite go over the edge. (Since I only get one in any finite time, I like to make the trip there very entertaining...)
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