6:53 pm - 07/16/2008

large vulva

I know this is an embarassing question, and it is a bit strange and explicit, so I'm sorry if it grosses anyone out.

I won't lie, I'm overweight (bordering on obese), and I have been for most of my life. Pretty much everything on me is big, but one thing I'm most embarassed about is that my vulva is quite, well, chubby. As well, I've got rather large labia. I'm not tight and cute like most young women, I look like I could have had a child by the way it looks.Well, I'm larger than almost all the vaginas I've seen (none of them are from porn). I'm really self concious about it and don't like to be touched there, even my one partner I did have said I was his biggest. My question is, is it possible for the overall size of my vulva and labia to decrease if I lose weight? Is there anything else I can do to "tighten up"?
frkyjenn 16th-Jul-2008 11:19 pm (UTC)
Kegals will help tighten your vagina.

And I imagine losing weight will help with the vulva size.

I know there is surgery for both issues too but I don't know anything about them.
paperispatient 17th-Jul-2008 02:43 am (UTC)
Re. surgery - I've been doing research on genital cosmetic surgery for a larger summer research project, and I would be very hesitant to pursue surgery. Labiaplasty reduces the size of your labia, and there are "vaginal rejuvenation" surgeries to "tighten" your vagina, but as with any surgery, there is the risk of infection, scar tissue, nerve damage, and loss of sensation in the area - and that is one area in which I would NOT want to lose sensation.

[I know you weren't suggesting surgery, frkyjenn, just wanted to throw in my two cents when I saw it mentioned. :) ]

Like someone else suggested, Kegels can help tighten your muscles. As for having large labia, I don't know of anything short of surgery that can change that. Mine aren't overly large, but they are noticeably lopsided. That made me a little self-conscious at first, but as I gained experience sexually, I found that none of the guys I was with cared about them being lopsided and that when I let go of my insecurities I enjoyed myself even more. I know that's much easier said than done, but I just wanted to throw that out there.
myrcwood_rose 16th-Jul-2008 11:22 pm (UTC)
Your outer vaginal area doesn't really have much to go with your "tightness", that comes from the muscles inside of the vagina. That said, I'm not particularly over weight or skinny, and my vagina, at least the outer part that you can see, is rather "puffy" for lack of a better term, the outer lips are thick, and my mons, the vaginal area covering the pubic bone, is thick as well, as in you can grab a hold of it. I've had some pretty drastic weight fluctuations in the past, and it has changed slightly, but not that much. Have you looked at the everyday bodies pics? there are lots there that are thick/large/puffy, so no, you aren't weird or different in any bad way, you just have a vagina that is unique, as all of them are. It is possible that if you were to lose weight that it's appearance would change though, you won't really know unless it happens. Wow, this is turning out to be a bit long winded, sorry :) Anyway, your vagina and/or it's appearance is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about! Don't be so hard on yourself, life throws enough stuff at us, there's no reason to heap more on the pile. As for the looking like you could have given birth thing? You generally can't tell that a woman has given birth by the way her labia look, that's not really the way it works.
oilbird 16th-Jul-2008 11:25 pm (UTC)
for what it's worth, I am petite and slim and i have always had a chubbier vulva. I used to be embarrassed but now I really don't care. I also have large labia. I like em.
Losing weight will probably help you lose a little vulva-chub, but I think that might be it's normal state. Also, I can't imagine that weight loss will do anything about large labia. I am not an expert though.

For tightening, yeah, what frkyjenn said, kegels will help with that.
mari_mac1109 16th-Jul-2008 11:26 pm (UTC)
Check out the Everyday Bodies Project to see some a nice BROAD spectrum of vulvas.

I have a big vulva too, but it's mine, you know? So I love it. :)
mari_mac1109 16th-Jul-2008 11:27 pm (UTC)
etchisketch 16th-Jul-2008 11:41 pm (UTC)
If it helps, I'm a tiny little thing and I've always had larger labia. Which I'm still somewhat embarassed about but i'm learning to live with it. *hugs ya*
brooklebee to add to the chorus16th-Jul-2008 11:54 pm (UTC)
I'm a medium-sized person, but I've got long labia minora and my labia majora are chubby, too. I've always felt sort of inadequately padded in the mons area, though--I'd love to have some more cushion there because sometimes it gets bruised-feeling from too much action.

In the end, everyone has their own vaginal style--yours sounds as normal as anyone else's--and people are attracted to th whole spectrum of vulval diversity. Definitely check out the everyday bodies project that another commenter linked above!
betterbebalboa Re: to add to the chorus17th-Jul-2008 01:09 am (UTC)
I'm a bit more padded in the mons area and I still get bruised-feeling there after intense sexytimes... I think the prominence of the pubic bone is going to leave some bruised-feeling whether there's a thick layer of fat padding in between or not.
demiraks_world 17th-Jul-2008 12:01 am (UTC)
I'm a fatty and I don't have what I'd consider "fat" labia. So, I'm going to guess it has very little to do with your weight and is instead just how you're made! Love it!
_myown_ 17th-Jul-2008 01:00 am (UTC)
Just to echo others, I don't think that your vulva size has much to do with body size. Losing weight might possibly make your mons a bit smaller, since like all bones, it's cushioned by body fat, but I doubt it would make your labia smaller.

I once read an article (sorry, can't find the link now) that said that 38% of women surveyed would describe their labia size as "above average" or "large". It's fairly easy for us to accept that magazines, tv, ads, etc. show images of a very narrow range of women (and usually manipulated images at that!), so why should we accept that the few images of vaginas, especially outside of porn, are anywhere close to representing the diversity of sizes and shapes out there?

I know it's hard to do, but really, the best thing you could do is to try and love and accept yourself.
tdh_1 17th-Jul-2008 02:33 am (UTC)
We are all different. I don't think it matters your size.
whatwe_know 17th-Jul-2008 04:31 am (UTC)
tight and cute like most young women

this is mythical, trying to live up to it will be hard and disappointing!

also, the size of your external genitalia has nothing to do with how "tight" your actual vagina is.
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