10:39 am - 02/29/2008

Why do women desire large penises?

I hear how the vagina doesn't have that many nerves, and the nerves we do have is only the first 2-3 inches.  So why do sooo many women rave about men who are very long and thick ?

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missmofo 29th-Feb-2008 06:46 pm (UTC)
I can see wanting thick, since it would get greater friction to the walls of the vagina, but long, I have NO idea why. I think it hurts to get poked in the cervix!
redxmagnum 29th-Feb-2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
I would say that 'hurts' is an understatement! At least for me.
goddessdeath 29th-Feb-2008 06:47 pm (UTC)
No clue.
redxmagnum 29th-Feb-2008 06:47 pm (UTC)
I would imagine because it feels good for them?

I, personally, don't. Average size is A++ in my book.
techdragon 29th-Feb-2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
Circumference sure makes a difference to me (much more than length). Being poly - with three stable and regular male partners - I can definitely feel the difference. I enjoy having sex with all of them but there is a different feeling of "fullness" with my primary (who has the larger circumference of the three). I have had more experience with length being painful - especially in certain positions such as doggy style. Too long hits funny and hurts!
tisha313 29th-Feb-2008 06:50 pm (UTC)
what does that sense of "fullness" do for you?

when I used my dildo I feel fullness but it doesn't stimulate me the way clitoral contact does...

taterbug160 29th-Feb-2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
I don't know any women who rave about long and thick.... including me! :P
loonylupinlover 29th-Feb-2008 06:52 pm (UTC)
A thick penis makes sense to me, as it will presumably be thick all the way through, so it can stimulate those first 2-3 inches all the time, whether thrusting in or out, because it would be a tight fit in the vagina. A thin penis wouldn't have contact with the vagina all the way around, possibly, thus making it less desirable. It's like the difference between a broomstick going through the center of a tireswing and a telephone pole going through it, lol... I really couldn't think of a less lame analogy than that, my apologies :-P

A long penis doesn't make sense to me, though, beyond maybe some people liking it visually. My boyfriend is about 5 to 6 inches long (it kinda varies for no apparent reason) and he still hits my cervix in some positions. I think his length is perfect for me. I have no idea what I'd do with a longer penis as it seems much more likely to stab me! Also, it wouldn't be as fun for oral sex because now I can nearly deepthroat my boy the whole way -- and adding inches onto that would mean I wouldn't be able to get so far, which would be less exciting for both of us. No, I wouldn't want a longer penis. I <3 the one I have access to now. *g*
leads_to_sex 29th-Feb-2008 09:05 pm (UTC)
I agree with everything you said.
nandy_pandy 29th-Feb-2008 06:55 pm (UTC)
Honestly, the only time I hear women rave about huge penises is on television. Nobody I know has ever discussed their penis preferences, although one friend of mine lamented that her partner's large penis often meant for painful sex, so they were limited to positions where he couldn't insert all the way.
ends_and_means 29th-Feb-2008 07:16 pm (UTC)
yeah, my friends and i never talk about penis size. ever. only online!
tarqness 29th-Feb-2008 06:56 pm (UTC)
I don't know, either. I was with a guy (ONCE) who had a 10 inch, proportionately thick penis. At first, I was excited, but once in, it was a bit much. Plus, he wasn't exactly gentle. Ugh.
incarnated_joy 1st-Mar-2008 08:17 am (UTC)
You got that in?! D:
xsaltyx 29th-Feb-2008 07:03 pm (UTC)
There are probably women who like the way it feels better, but I suspect that there are probably others who have bought into the idea of a bigger penis being "more manly" and therefore more desirable?
hheather 29th-Feb-2008 07:08 pm (UTC)
I like being poked in the cervix...

so my favorite partner ever was way above average in length and girth and I was very happy about that :D
earthstone 29th-Feb-2008 07:20 pm (UTC)
me too!!
archangelbeth 29th-Feb-2008 07:08 pm (UTC)
I don't rave about long -- too long, and it pokes me in ways that tend to make me go "oog." Thick... Ah, my eyes are bigger than my... nevermind. O:> Anyway, girth is more likely to be "useful" to a point, because the nerves are in the first few inches. More girth means that those areas are being rubbed on more firmly. Also, the parts of the clitoris which are buried in flesh (the nub in front is not all there is!) may be jostled indirectly by a thick penis, and it's more likely to stimulate the g-spot as well.

That said, there's definitely such a thing as too much. I've got a toy which qualifies, really. (In both length and girth.) Sometimes, though, it's just the toy for the mood. Just... very rarely.

Some women have a "deep spot" -- it feels good to have the area behind the cervix stimulated. They'd want someone long enough to do that, but how long? Depends on the woman.

Penis shape may also be a factor for some women -- a curve that bumps the g-spot, or manages to avoid the cervix, or whatever.

(But all that penis-enlargement spam? Honestly, it's more guy-showing-off-for-guy. See also http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koteka for another way of displaying the goods, so to speak.)
archangelbeth 29th-Feb-2008 07:12 pm (UTC)
http://rbg-web2.rbge.org.uk/ethnobotany/Yali2.pdf has a photograph of, well, a couple of guys wearing astoundingly long gourds. It's seriously gone beyond what'd be necessary or pleasurable if it were the actual organ and into sheer visual display.
ends_and_means 29th-Feb-2008 07:15 pm (UTC)
well, i've only had experience with one penis, but i couldn't imagine it being any more ideal. haha! that sounds so funny, but it's true. my boyfriend is about 8", and while sometimes it can be a little long (poor cervix) it's usually just perfect. i can't really explain why it feels good... it just does. seems like most women prefer a penis on the shorter side, because of the cervix factor.

hell, i just like how it looks!
__justlikeyou 1st-Mar-2008 02:24 am (UTC)
That's how I feel about my boy too :)) 8" and perfect for me. I don't mind the bumping-of-the-cervix at allll though, so long as it's gentle.
tisha313 29th-Feb-2008 07:16 pm (UTC)
maybe the reason I don't feel anything is because my past partner might not have been thick enough?
archangelbeth 29th-Feb-2008 07:32 pm (UTC)
Possible. Though I also have a teenytoy, with maaaaybe as much girth as two of my fingers, and sometimes that's fine with me. It depends on how it's used, what mood I'm in, position, etc. (I don't like gal-on-top, for instance. At best, it makes me frustrated. O:p Most of the time I'm not getting that much good sensation from it. Except my knees, which get really tired.)

Also, if your past partner wasn't very stiff, that could contribute -- lack of rigidity means that one gets little or no rubbing against things that might give good sensations.

One experiment might be to get some dildos -- or visit the produce section of the supermarket and pick up some cheap condoms -- and see which sizes feel most interesting to you. (If buying cucumbers, wash thoroughly and make sure that they don't have any of the little spikes still on them. Spikes are ow and can tear condoms.)
freshgroundfemm 29th-Feb-2008 07:26 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm definitely of the opinion that it's what you do with it that counts. I will say though, I had no idea that I was only supposed to have nerves for the first 2-3 inches! I have a "sweet spot" at the top of my vagina, anterior to my cervix that feels so absolutely amazing when stimulated, that it's fabulous when someone can reach it, either with their penis, fingers or a dildo.
unprotectedrex 29th-Feb-2008 07:43 pm (UTC)
I think you're talking about the a-spot! em & lo just blogged about this a little while ago!
http://dailybedpost.com/2008/02/what-the-hell-is-the-aspot.php
vertebrae 29th-Feb-2008 07:36 pm (UTC)
Are you secretly a man? Hehehe.
frolicnaked 1st-Mar-2008 12:21 am (UTC)
Given that tisha313 says "we" when discussing vaginal nerve endings, I'm guessing that's less likely rather than more. ;) (Not that every person with a vagina identifies as female, but it tends to be more common, numbers-wise, than the other way around.)

And I'm guessing that you intended this lightheartedly, as a joke, but I'm also wondering if it could have an affect that wasn't intended. I know that a lot of people come to VP to ask questions about subjects that may be sensitive to them or about which they might feel insecure. It actually seems pretty natural to me that a woman would ask about penis size obsession, especially if her own experiences don't match up with the cultural build-up (sometimes very inaccurate) we have that "big dicks are better." It's understandable to want to know where the discrepancy lies.

So I guess I'm not sure how completely helpful it is to question the OP's gender or identity because she wants to discuss a particular topic. Not that I think you meant it this way, but I do think it would be easy for someone to feel like she her concerns weren't being taken seriously.
marciamarcia 29th-Feb-2008 07:38 pm (UTC)
Honestly, I don't think women DO rave about long, thick penises.

For most of the women I know, size really doesn't matter that much, with the exception of way under average and way over average, both of which are viewed poorly.

Personally, my husband is average and I enjoy it. Sometimes, I want a little more a "stuffed full" feeling (which just feels nice and gives me a different type of orgasm) and for that we have a couple of larger circumfrence dildos.

The guys I know with looong dicks all had trouble finding girls who wanted to do anything with them. The guys I know with super wide dicks also have trouble.
funwithrage 29th-Feb-2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
Yeah. A big cock is visually appealing, and the fullness may be a good thing--personally, being narrow and having had previous lube issues, I like them narrow, plus it's waaaay easier to give oral sex that way--but most of the people raving about 'em are guys.
missinfinity 29th-Feb-2008 08:13 pm (UTC)
I've never met one that does.

I always thought the general consensus was, barring personal preference, there were only 2 times size mattered:

1. "Wait, I need a magnifying glass."
and
2. "Oh dear god you can't be serious get that thing away from me."
techdragon 29th-Feb-2008 08:34 pm (UTC)
2. "Oh dear god you can't be serious get that thing away from me."

Otherwise known as:
"You think you are going to put *that*... where?"
h2ok 29th-Feb-2008 08:48 pm (UTC)
You completely misunderstood what I said. I said that the first 2-3 inches of the vagina are the most nerve-dense, not that they are the only existing ones.
queensugar 29th-Feb-2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
I only hear such raving either on sitcoms or else from women who I, personally, do not take much stock in their opinions.

That's not to say it's not possible to be both informed and to rave about a huge penis (I'm sure it is!), but only that the women I personally know who do rave about such things are certainly not. They tend to be sexually uninformed and also fairly materialistic, and seem to equate penis size with overall sexual prowess.

As far as my preference? I always say average is average for a reason, and I prefer them like that. My fiance's penis is in the 90th percentile (7.1 inches erect) in length and about average in girth. He's the largest partner I've had, and I would never, ever, EVER, *EVER* go any bigger. His length now already makes things kind of tricksy sometimes, and I have to be much more careful with him than my previous, average partners.

I love my partner and his bits just the way he is, and we have mindblowing sex, but I miss being able to just let loose without worrying the way I could with my former partners.
tisha313 29th-Feb-2008 09:40 pm (UTC)
do you think the reason why you can now feel pleasure during sex is because of his size?
with_redribbons 29th-Feb-2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
There's just no kick with a little dick
seserakh 29th-Feb-2008 10:21 pm (UTC)
out in space they're a sexy race
leastlikely 29th-Feb-2008 09:21 pm (UTC)
My ex was pretty much spot-on average (6" long and... um, I don't know the circumference specifically but I really think "average" is an accurate description) and that was fine for me. My current partner is quite a bit larger (just guessing here, but I think he's closer to 8". and a lot wider) and... I mean, the sex is amazing BUT I feel bad that he can't get quite as "into it" as he'd like to. We have to be careful that he doesn't go in too far or it will hurt me and I'll end up bleeding. He has actually apologized for his size several times, and I feel so bad about that! I <3 his penis and I just wish my vagina was shaped more appropriately to be able to handle it! :\
jenninhtown 29th-Feb-2008 10:53 pm (UTC)
I actually HATE long penises. My SO is average and still pokes my cervix every now and then, and that hurts.

Now girthy penises are nice... They "pull" on my inner labia more during penetration which is more stimulating. It's not enough for me to wish my SO had anything but what he has, but there are some slight benefits to thick penises :)
poppleshatesyou 29th-Feb-2008 11:39 pm (UTC)
I just want to chime in, i don't really know that many women who rave about long/thick penis' if anything, i know women who have been with men who are too big either way and it was painful and not very fun for anyone involved. I think penis size (particularly "the bigger the better") is something that our society loves to talk about, but not much of the talk is based in reality. ya know?
I think it really comes down to personal preference, just like the majority of things individuals find pleasurable or not.
shellazure 1st-Mar-2008 12:21 am (UTC)
The only "raving" I ever hear/see/read about long, thick penises are by spam emails/pornos/etc. Most women I've met (including me) think that a certain circumference is good, but it varies from woman to woman. Length? eh.
trinity85 1st-Mar-2008 02:38 am (UTC)
I hate large penises. Give me average and I'm good to go.
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