6:13 pm - 06/30/2007


does everyone do it? yesterday i was at a friends house, and we were talking about masterbating, and all the girls acted liek they didnt do it? is it considered a "bad" thing? do people who masterbate; are they a minority?

jenmarie 1st-Jul-2007 01:21 am (UTC)
I'm pretty sure those who do are not in the minority.

I think that a lot of people, women especially, are ashamed to talk about it for some reason.

I know that in high school it was something that 'nobody' did.

The older I get, the more women talk about it, though.
Now, in my 30s, I don't know anyone who doesn't masturbate.
And all of us now freely admit that it's something we've done since puberty or earlier.
maddyrific 1st-Jul-2007 01:22 am (UTC)
Oh man, i think i have ONE friend who actually admits to masterbating. It drives me insane :/ I dont understand why people are ashamed to admit that they masterbate.

I just dont understand why people arent ashamed to admit to having sex with another person, but god forbid they have sex with themselves :/ makes no sense.
pyraterose 1st-Jul-2007 03:38 am (UTC)
yep. one friend, me too. but we're still young (she's 17 and I'm 18). I don't feel comfortable discussing it with my friends for some reason. Idk why...but then, She's the only one of my girlfriends who is sexually active. Even I'm not yet. So maybe that's why we can talk about it.
kaelstra 1st-Jul-2007 01:25 am (UTC)
More people masturbate than not, I'd say the minority do NOT masturbate. It's quite healthy, and good for you to do so.

I imagine people act like they don't do it because they think it's embarrassing to admit it, but I'd be willing to bet they either do it, or have done it before.
ripgurllulu 1st-Jul-2007 01:26 am (UTC)
masturabting for men or women is totally normal

mysteriousmeat 1st-Jul-2007 01:29 am (UTC)
i'm sure some people don't admit it since it's a little "taboo" or they might be embarassed to say that they do it unless other people say so as well. i don't know why but i find that guys are more laid back about talking about it than females are.

but, like everyone said, it's the majority that actually DOES do it, and there's nothing at all wrong with it :)
darkfyre_muse Me too1st-Jul-2007 02:12 am (UTC)
truly I am having trouble looking away. lol ;)
yourcoffincutie Re: Me too1st-Jul-2007 03:51 am (UTC)
This makes a third. How odd.
washinmachine Re: Me too1st-Jul-2007 05:19 am (UTC)
and a forth. i cannot break my stare from it...
lilmsfitness Re: Me too1st-Jul-2007 06:02 am (UTC)
ditto. haha.
racing_turtles Re: Me too1st-Jul-2007 07:11 am (UTC)
I was about to say the same thing, and saw there were five others! Hah!
polly_purebred Re: Me too1st-Jul-2007 08:23 pm (UTC)
Make that 6!
okydokypokey 1st-Jul-2007 01:36 am (UTC)
girls like never talk about masterbating until they're 18 and have had sex, then they discuss it like its no big deal. before that age though, hell to the no its seen as bad. However, everyone does it, and when you tell a guy you do it he gets hella turned on. and I laugh at that. HAHAHA.
kaelstra 1st-Jul-2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
That's not always true. I know quite a few older women who are sexually active who still are ashamed to admit they masturbate.

I actually know one girl in her mid/late 20's who got offended at the idea of women masturbating. When I admitted I did it, she seemed to take that to mean my partner "wasn't enough man" for me, that I "had to resort to that". I tried to explain it wasn't about him at all, but she seemed to think the only reason anyone would masturbate at all was because they weren't turned on by their partner, or didn't get off during sex. I assured her that I was not only incredibly turned on by him, and that I get off during sex, but hey-sometimes I just like wanking.
rockstarbob Masturbation: Healthy, Normal, Good!1st-Jul-2007 01:37 am (UTC)
Masturbating is totally normal and healthy! I would guess that your friends (like many women) either aren't being entirely forthright with you about their masturbation habits due to embarrassment (it's not like we women are taught that it's acceptable to talk about sex/self-pleasure--good thing for places like VP!), or maybe they genuinely don't do it because they don't know how awesome it is... or even how to get started.

For more info on the ins and outs (ha!) and benefits of masturbation, you might want to check out this link:


You (and your pals) might also be interested in this book:

ksiezniczka_ 1st-Jul-2007 02:14 am (UTC)
Most likely they do and don't want to admit it.

Hardly any of my friends would ever admit they did... but their boyfriends often told on them haha.
betterbebalboa 1st-Jul-2007 02:24 am (UTC)
Agree with everyone above.

One of my girl friends hinted so heavily that she was horny all the time that I offered to buy her a vibrator for her birthday. She giggled a lot and gladly accepted. Since then she's become a lot more open about sex, and has admitted freely that the only orgasms she's ever had, she gave to herself.

I think it's possible that some of my really conservative, sex-phobic friends don't masturbate, but then again it's entirely possible that they do.

Think about it this way: it's a hell of a lot safer than sex, both in terms of pregnancy and disease risk. Why on earth should you be ashamed of it?
auraesque 1st-Jul-2007 04:18 am (UTC)
Ooh, you reminded me: I have one girlfriend who never touched herself until she came to college. This is a girl who loves boys and loves kissing boys. She was shocked to find out that all of us in the dorms Jilled Off. As she explained it, the thought never occured to her...until she met us. I love that girl, lol.
missjecka 1st-Jul-2007 02:57 am (UTC)
I think your friends are just shy. Just about everyone does it. I've been doing it since very early childhood. Some people don't start 'til puberty. Everyone's different, but everyone also has urges that need to be... released! Haha.
my_neighborhood 1st-Jul-2007 02:59 am (UTC)
They're verrry likely just not admitting it. My friends and I, the first time it got brought up and someone tentatively asked "do you do it?" and everyone automatically was like "NO PSH OMG!!" but then every gradually admitted to it, after others started to.

People (or just girls) who masturbate are NOT in the minority. Not that there's anything wrong with people who don't, some just aren't interested. But I'd bet money that some or most of your friends do it but don't say so.

There's nothing wrong with masturbating. For some reason I guess people think it's not something girls should talk about. Whatever, my friends and I are close and we've talked about it before, what's wrong with relating?

In fact... it's thought that girls begin masturbating earlier than guys do. A lot of girls start at like age 3-5, or even earlier. I've been doing it since as long as I can remember. I'm not some horny sexual deviant all the time, I just do it :P

I can't think of a single reason to be ashamed of masturbating. Proud, maybe, to be in tune with your body. But not ashamed. Don't worry :)
_crys336_ 1st-Jul-2007 03:10 am (UTC)
As a teen I totally denied it. Even though it was a regular occurance. lol

Now as an adult I will talk with a few friends about it, but that is it. I am still a fairly private person in real life.
frolicnaked 1st-Jul-2007 04:57 am (UTC)
Though there are plenty of reasons why people would choose not to masturbate. For example, some women could have been raised with the idea that masturbation or self-exploration was "dirty" or "wrong," and even if later they decide otherwise, that kind of ingrained guilt about it can be difficult to overcome.

Additionally, I know that 1 1/2 to 2 years ago, there was a period of several months where I had utterly no desire to have sex or to masturbate. (Seriously, in a five month span, I can probably count the number of partner sex and masturbation encounters on one hand.) Looking back on it, I can see where my partner and relationship at the time were significant factors in that lack of sex drive. And I can say it was sad that I was in that place and troubling that I was in it for so long, I wouldn't say I'm embarrassed about my lack of masturbation then.

And I know a couple of VPers have mentioned that they don't masturbate simply because they've never felt the drive to do so or that the idea doesn't appeal to them. It happens.

I'm sure that statistically, the portion of people who doesn't masturbate is in the minority, but both can be normal and valid choices. :)
knowiexist 1st-Jul-2007 03:25 am (UTC)
I found my friends were shy about admitting to it in high school. Once we were into our 20s everyone talked about it freely.
unripe 1st-Jul-2007 03:27 am (UTC)
I am a pedant, but masturbate is spelt with a U - mastUrbate - not with an E.

I knnow people who have been masturbating since they were 2 or 3 years old (not constantly though :) and some who only started (or started again) since becoming sexually active - after being told not to touch themselves when they were younger. And then there's some who are acutely uncomfortable with themselves, their gentials and the whole idea. But in my experience the majority of people masturbate sometimes. I used to when I was a kid, was told not to touch too much and stopped, only to start again once I started having sex. Though now, with regular sex happening I might only reach for a vibe twice a week. I find it takes an awful lot of work to get myself off with my hands alone - this is something I'm working on.
superfrogqueen8 1st-Jul-2007 04:25 am (UTC)
Heh, I heard a medical expert say on Pen&Teller's Bullshit (tv show on Showtime that dispells common myths and beliefs) say that 90% of men and women masturbate, and the other 10% are lying. :P
praeclarus 1st-Jul-2007 04:27 am (UTC)
i masturbate. in high school i never openly admitted to it. it was too taboo among those people.

now i try to be open about it, with different friends. i'm kind of scared that some of them actually DON'T, and that i'll be alienated.
ktnzgtklws 1st-Jul-2007 04:41 am (UTC)
I never masturbated until I started having PIV sex. It really never occured to me, and I never had any desire to, honestly. I still rarely do it. I just don't have this huge sex drive, and can easily ignore any cravings I guess. *shrug*
h0rsegurrrl 1st-Jul-2007 05:04 am (UTC)
I've always said that everyone masturbates at some point in their lives and that those who claim they've never done it are lying. :-) I stand by it.
shrewlaura 1st-Jul-2007 06:40 am (UTC)
I admitted it to a couple of my friends in middle school. Then they joyously teased me about it for weeks. =P It was all in good fun though and I'm glad that I was comfortable enough to admit it because I'm positive they did it too.
blinkofreality 1st-Jul-2007 06:50 am (UTC)
Haha it appears that I am in the minority, but I don't masturbate, never have. And it's not because I am ashamed/asexual/think it's dirty/wrong (those are all reasons I've seen people in the past give when trying to explain why they think people don't masturbate). I've just never had the desire to, and I'm perfectly happy with that.
auraesque 1st-Jul-2007 07:23 am (UTC)
A friend of mine has a similar outlook, as I mentioned above. Just...never occured to her. When she did try it, she was like, "Eh...that's it? Wasn't *that* exciting."

But about a month later she orgasmed from a particularly bumpy train ride and ran home to tell us all about it. She still has no interest in masturbation, but she rides the train a lot more frequently now.

And one day I am gonna get caught for telling all her stories, but she is awesome and I love her to death.
oopsiedaisies7 2nd-Jul-2007 01:35 am (UTC)
Haha, the first orgasm I had that I didn't give to myself was riding on a friend's ATV on a considerably bumpy road. I hated the ATV ride overall, but, eh, I'd try it again =)
blinkofreality 2nd-Jul-2007 04:08 am (UTC)
Haha that's a pretty nifty story
cheesyfeetlick 1st-Jul-2007 08:37 am (UTC)
I started masturbating when I was 12, but before that I would sit on the edge of a chair and move back and forth and all around. I even had a best friend who would mount dressers. Like, the corner of furniture. That was a bit too pointy and harsh for me.

Even when I'm not sexually active, I can go a long time without masturbating. Because I'm tired or I just forget, and then I do it again and wonder how I can go a day without it. haha
archangelbeth 1st-Jul-2007 02:35 pm (UTC)
I didn't masturbate till I was... 15 or 16, as I recall. (I had a rich and kinky fantasy life, though!) Not that I thought it was "bad," but more that I didn't realize it might feel interesting (and it was only kinda interesting when I started), and hadn't thought to do it that way when I could get physiological reactions from just my mind. O:>

Once someone suggested that I was a little odd for not trying, I did, and eventually got an orgasm from it.

I suspect a lot of people pretend they oh-no-never-ever did anything that might be, *gasp*, sexual, like... OMG, touch themselves, eek! When in reality, they've got a harem of cucumbers in the fridge or something. (Be sure to wash your cucumbers thoroughly before and after, and rub off any spikey bits that cucumbers sometimes have on the outside.)
frolicnaked 1st-Jul-2007 05:37 pm (UTC)
You may also want to let your cucumbers sit out for a bit before use, so they're room temperature for insertion instead of refrigerator cold. ;)
eatmyveggies 1st-Jul-2007 09:27 pm (UTC)
i was raised by a really conservative family where everything involving sex was "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

i didn't realize it was okay to masturbate until i was 17, and i've been doing it ever since!
breath3air 2nd-Jul-2007 01:05 am (UTC)
i love my vibrator a lot.
frolicnaked 2nd-Jul-2007 01:47 am (UTC)
I love my vibrator so much, I made sure to buy it some little vibrating friends. They keep each other company when I'm not around. ;)
oboegoddess 2nd-Jul-2007 08:29 pm (UTC)
I remember in high school, I couldn't admit to anyone that I masturbated, even when a friend of mine told me that she did. It wasn't until my senior year, when I was in an awesome GLBT support group, that I actually had frank talks about sex and masturbation with my peers without being ashamed.

I'm now 24, and with my friends/acquaintences it's pretty much assumed that you do masturbate unless you state otherwise.

So hang in there, masturbation is perfectly okay and will probably be considered more acceptable as you get older.
xsickittyx 3rd-Jul-2007 03:49 am (UTC)
Your friends are lying! I seriously have a hard time believing that people DON'T. And if they really don't i feel pretty bad for them.
frolicnaked 3rd-Jul-2007 04:33 am (UTC)
I'd guess that denying masturbating is probably more common than actually not masturbating ever. That said, I do have one friend who says she didn't masturbate until she was almost 20 -- and I trust that she's truthful 100%. (She's never been at all shy about discussing any aspect of sex or masturbation, male or female.) So if my math is correct, there are about 2 years when we knew one another but when she could have honestly said she didn't masturbate.
alotofromance masturbating29th-Oct-2007 06:30 pm (UTC)
I bet those same friends made you feel guilty about a second helping of pie. But trust me I only eat one piece-at a time. hehe. And I would also add that after being married for 30 years, sometimes I just want to please myself and fall to sleep with my hand between my legs. With a smile on my lips.
murf1307 28th-Nov-2011 08:38 pm (UTC)
I've been masturbating since I found out it existed. I think it's just, y'know, something I do. It's not a big deal.

But then, I'm a girl who spends most of her time with her guy friends -- talking about pornography and masturbation and kink are just things that happen for my group. Some interesting conversations have resulted, lol.
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